Deceptions & Secrets

Chapter 5: Facing the Truth

Chapter 5: Facing the Truth

Date: Two and a half months before Tobias's Choosing Ceremony (April)

*Beatrice POV*

I quietly walk through the halls of school thinking about the science class lesson plan from earlier today. The teacher explained how the brain is working at all times, even when we are in a deep sleep. When the subject of dreams came up I felt my body stiffen as I quickly maintained control to keep my face neutral.

Although it has been two weeks since my last nightmare, it is the last thing I think about as I close my eyes every night. I am terrified my dreams will haunt me again, dark images that consume me and make my grief unbearable.

It has also been two weeks since Tobias was in my bedroom and we kissed. I nod my head as I try to shake the image out of my mind. Thankfully we both agree, it was a mistake at so many levels and we need to move forward.

The day after the kiss started as awkward, but by the middle of the day I missed my friend. I could tell he missed me as well. We briefly discussed it one more time, aside from being siblings, our behavior was completely inappropriate for Abnegation and not a road either of us wanted to go down. We made up that day and have not looked back.

I sit on the steps where Tobias and I have agreed to always meet after school. As we are two years apart, our classes never overlap and his classes are always on the second floor. It is usually me that has to sit and wait for him to make it out of the building.

I sit down and enjoy the breeze, it is a little chilly but still quite pleasant weather. I am enjoying the fresh air. I watch as a couple of different families walk down the road, the mother and father always standing at opposite sides of the walk with no physical contact between them. I think about Mother and Marcus, for the first time I am tremendously grateful to live in such a conservative faction. I would be disgusted if I had to witness any kind of affection between my mother and that man.

I know now, without a doubt, that he can't stand me and he wants me out of his home as soon as possible. I was delivering dinner for my parents at the assembly hall the other evening, Tobias was supposed to come with me but we were very behind on our chores because of homework. I remember how anxious Tobias was; he genuinely seemed panicked that we were so behind schedule.

We came to the agreement that he would continue the chore of cleaning the fireplace while I went alone to deliver their dinner as they needed to work late. We knew that the expectation would have been that Tobias pause his chores and escort me, but we were short on time. I went alone and had a plan to deliver the food without getting caught alone.

As I quietly entered the hall, I knew if I left the clearly labeled bag of food on the reception table that I could get away without being seen, and they would still get their dinner. They would have no idea that Tobias didn't escort me.

What I had not anticipated is that Marcus and Jonah, another council member, would be walking down the empty hallway right as I was about to drop off the bag of food. I froze in fear, my instinct telling me that it would be a very bad thing if it was discovered that Tobias disobeyed Marcus's orders and did not walk me here so late in the evening.

Being small has its advantages; I was able to hide behind a pillar undetected. It was then that I heard the conversation between Marcus and Jonah. Marcus was being very aggressive in insisting that since my birthday was so close to me being eighteen at next year's Choosing Ceremony that he wanted to make sure that I could go through the process early. Just hearing his tone, and his insistence...it was very obvious he wants me out of his home in one year, not the two that is scheduled.