What happens when one loved her idol more than a fan and got the chance to meet him?
She ended up facing internal conflict upon reality and dream. What was the truth then?
A love story of a psychotherapist and her idol.
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Katherine Claire is a t...
Even though I told him to believe in me, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do. He kept quiet the entire time. He did not say anything and just focused on producing music. I did not really wanted to disturb him but we were supposed to have a session. Bang PD-nim had requested to have the first session immediately but he straight away went to his studio. To which, I followed obviously.
He was really into his work and was being very serious which made him look extremely hot. It was like heaven for me just sitting near him in the studio, just the two of us.
He glanced at me a couple of times and I just smiled back at him. Although he did not want to say anything, I knew that he was feeling bad. He felt guilty as he thought that I was wasting my time for him. But I guess he just could not bring that matter up that easily.
As much as I wanted him to take his time, I could not just let my session end without any productivity. I needed to know his condition at the very least.
"Yoongi, I'm sorry to interrupt but we still need to do something."
He paused what he was doing and turned his face to me. My heart skipped a beat when our eyes met. He looked so ethereal. As if an Angel had fallen from the sky. I couldn't believe someone beautiful like him was suffering from such pain.
Well the in-ear translating device could actually respond immediately after one's conversation. Bang PD-nim explained the instructions and we figured out that we just forgot to 'on' a certain button. So now, it became easier for us to communicate.
He opened his mouth slightly and hesitated to speak. In the end, he just let out a sigh and looked down. It was definitely hard, especially for an introvert to speak out such cases. He didn't have the courage to.
Yoongi was not really an introvert. He's straightforward and speak his mind but being a fan of him since debut, I knew he was not the type to freely speak out his true feelings. He was the type to keep everything to himself. But I needed him to let it go.
"It's ok. You don't need to tell me everything. You can just tell me when it started happening again."
He glanced up and nodded his head. "I...It started when....umm."
His lower lip quivered and he clenched his fist. He was mad at himself for not being able to speak as he wished. "I was..." He clenched his teeth and his eyes started to tear up.
My heart clenched tightly as I saw him in that state. I never expected it to be this way. I had never faced with this kind of case before. Someone who needed to let himself go.
"Yoongi. It's fine," I told him calmly. I did not want him to force himself. I just wanted him to relax but he just became more tensed.
He shot up and glared at me. "Just leave. You are just wasting your time! I'm fine. I don't need help!," he shouted.
I got it. It was enough.
I knew he was going to explode in anger. He was battling against himself. With his own feelings. When someone could not speak up their true feelings, they ended up saying the direct opposite. That's usually because one needed someone to be honest with.
He needed someone to help him. To be beside him. To be able to take in everything and understand him. To love him.
"I won't. No matter what you say, I won't leave."
He was taken aback when I said that. He cooled down a bit and started breathing normally. I stood up and held his hand. "You did a good job, today. Let's call it a day."
He looked at me confused as I packed my bag. He stood frozen at his spot as I left the room. I wasn't angry or anything. I just wanted to give him space. To be honest, he looked so hot when he was angry. My heart was racing like crazy. I bet if my heart competed in Olympics, it would have easily won against Usein Bolt.
I sighed and leaned against the wall as I flipped the patient file open. I looked at my hand and giggled. I actually touched him twice! Omg I sound like a pervert. But who cares?! I did a mini dance since I couldn't contain my feelings and I was alone in the hallway anyways.
I took out a pen from the side pocket of my handbag and jolted down a few words. I needed to take notes of his current state in order to treat him. It would also help me remember so I wrote it down. It was not precise or definite but I knew he was facing one thing for sure.
Irritable Depression.
Anger had always been linked to depression. When one faced depression, he ended up losing control of his emotions, especially anger. Based on his actions, I could tell that he was having difficulty managing his anger. One thing to treat.
He was also having difficulty speaking out his emotions. Something seemed to be holding him back as if there was a lump in his throat. People tend to face such problems so it's not something one usually care. But not for him. His lack of capability in communicating his feelings led to anger. If he could not express himself properly, it will be difficult for him to escape from his dark hole. The Depression.
Since I was done with the day, I wanted to take a rest. I went back to Bang PD-nim who offered me a few bodyguards to bring me to the place I had to stay. I kindly declined the offer as having too many bodyguards around me would just bring unnecessary attention. Instead I asked him where I could rent a car. I had an international driving license so having a car would make transportation easier for me.
He offered me his cars or to pay for the rented car but I just told him it was fine and that I did not want to be a burden. He passed me the address and thanked me for cooperating with him. He also apologised for not being able to send me off. "It's fine. It's also my pleasure to help you."
I left his office and headed off. I read the address that he gave me and typed it in Google Maps so that I could use some help for directions. Without my notice, a person was running towards me and in the end, we collided into each other.
It really hurts. I felt something heavy on my body and I couldn't really move freely. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Jeon Jungkook, who was staring back at me with his big round eyes. Oh he must have bumped into me... Wait a minute. I slowly processed the situation and my eyes widened in shock.
