A Better Love (Jacquees Love Story)

I Blame You

I laid in the bed looking at my mother with a face identical to mines but the only thing that is different is  she has a heart of cold ice. She didn't give a damn about me or nobody that much was for sure. She had great love for only herself and all the men that she had encountered over the years. That makes me wonder who the father is to Rayliyah and Raynesha. Shit I don't even know who my father is.

"What are you doing here and what do you want? I mean haven't you done enough."

"Lets be real the only reason that you are here is because you want to say how I ruined something for you. Or that you hate me and wish you never had me."

She looked at me with a devious smirk and said, "You know me so well dear. And you are absolutely right."

"See January those two girl's father was madly in love with me at one point but you caused him to leave me. He didn't like how I never talked about you and how I would put you down. He was always taking up for you."

"What the hell does that have to do with you doing all this to me and hurting innocent people. You are deranged."

"He loved his Rayliyah and Raynesha to death and back. I knew for a long time that they were your sisters. I knew a whole lot of things but just brushed them to the side. He wanted to meet you so that you could finally meet your sister's."

I sat up in the bed looking at her like she was crazy because it dawned on me that the man she was talking about was my father.

"Why the hell would you keep me away from my on father and my sisters? I thought that my father didn't want me because of you filling his head with all kinds of lies."

"Dammit January he loved you more than me and because I wouldn't never let him see you he left to go be back with their mother. I couldn't stand the fact of that. So that 's why I treated you like that because I despised you and hated you. I still do."

I refused to cry but her words were cutting deeper than any knife could. Damn I would have never thought this shit would have been this deep. My own mother can't love me because she resents that fact that my father loved me more. I can only imagine the pain that he feels.

"Do me a favor get out and I don't want to see or hear anything from you. You didn't want me then so don't want me now. As you can see I am doing fine without your love. GET THE GELL OUT NOW!!" I said screaming and crying.

She stood there and had the audacity to let a tear roll down her cheek. She walked out looking defeated but I didn't give zero fucks. I laid there crying and holding myself because the pain that I was feeling was so unreal. I cried myself asleep and when I woke it was the next day. I looked over and I saw Alicia Rayliyah and Raynesha sitting in my room. I knew that I looked like shit but I didn't care.

"Alicia what are y'all doing here? And what time is it?"

"We came to check on you and it is 10:30."

I just broke down and started crying again. That seemed to be all that I was doing but shit who could blame me. All three of them walked over to my bed because they knew that I needed somebody no matter how I tried to push everyone away.

"January I am truly sorry for everything. I didn't know that you were my sister. Had I known I would have never done half the shit that I did." Rayliyah said.

"I missed out on so much because of my selfish mother and her evil ways. All the hell I had to go through and still is because of her wants and desires. She never once thought how she was hurting me or you guys."

"Damn y'all I promise my heart can't take anymore because I won't be able to survive it."

Raynesha was quite because she thought that I was mad at her just like I was with Johntae.