The Doctor Dances

18. Time, Dear?

Clair

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Current things I would like to think that would explain things a few seconds ago;  he’s hallucinating, he’s scared beyond thought, (or, I’d rather not try to accept this) the Doctor chooses to see me.  The last one could be debated but in my mind I’d wish it to be true, or not.

Back onto the current subject, which I never really left in the first place but whatever.  If someone asks you a question that you’re scared to answer, what do you say?  How about – ‘Oh, hey you finally noticed me?  What a surprise.’ 

I was in the same crouched position as before, starting to rock on my heels yet unable to move a muscle.  If you asked me what I was feeling I couldn’t even begin to describe it instead my words would sound like someone with an alcohol level of 1.3 (trust me, legal is 0.8).

But I might as well try…

“Yes?” I answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

This time the Doctor stared at the air swirling around me, mouth opening in surprise before shaking his head violently as if trying to hide away from my image.  Kicking himself onto his feet he took a few shaky steps before running in a full out sprint towards the T.A.R.D.I.S. console (not to mention straight through me). 

A person wouldn’t think that I could feel every time someone passes through me, hell I didn’t even believe it myself, but in an unsettling way I can.  Just now as the Doctor ran through me, I felt myself shift like all I am is fading atoms.  And that’s probably the truth, I am slowly fading away.

After my thoughts, I noticed the Doctor starting to tear his hair out end by end.  “No! THIS can’t be true, you cannot be real… I must be sleep deprived or stressed, either one is completely logical.  But this is far from logic.” The Doctor started muttering rapidly.  “But then again what in MY world relies on logic? Absolutely nothing.” At that the Doctor looked like he was having an internal war with himself, before turning to stare in my direction.

“I know that I’m probably talking to nothing but if your there, Clair, I’ve always been able to see you but now your almost invisible.” He trailed off. “But now, I’m truly scared because I’m not good at having to say goodbye.” The Doctor’s words seemed to stumble out of his mouth.

And now the room is silent.  So silent I could hear a pin drop.  (Too dramatic, right?)

The Doctor

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I continued with my confused rambling, not wanting to waste any second in which Clair could possibly hear me.

“But you know what?  I did make some mistakes, the first one was buying a Stetson*.  Huge mistake there, but I still never gave up.

I was, in all honesty, able to see Clair in the few weeks since her body died but recently I (more or less) only catch glimpses of past moments caught in the time stream as to where Clair was before.  So in simpler terms, I see memories of her only in a different time zone.  Basically where I am now, I could see where Clair was hours before.

“Then why didn’t you notice me before?” Clair asked with a hint of hysteria in her voice. (Or at least what I’d imagine her saying.)

“I can’t explain why I ignored you, the only reason I’m listening to you now is because you’re fading from existence and that’s worse than knowing you’re dead.  So don’t start, I know what you’re probably thinking and I don’t have any idea what to do.  Just give me time…” I played along to my own illusions.

Twirling to my right I stopped dead on my heel, seeing a figure sitting on the rail of the steps leading down the T.A.R.D.I.S.  Swinging her legs until they hit the railings edge, a small grin played at the edge of her lips but all that was a distant memory now.  Reaching out, I tried to touch her image only to have it flicker like static in the moment my flesh touched the memory.

In my peripheral vision another figure was crouched down by the T.A.R.D.I.S. door, reaching out as if to caress another beings face. Brining my hand up to my cheek I felt the chill again, confronted by confusion.  Walking over in slow side angled steps, I moved as if to observe the situation around me (which was exactly like I was doing).

Slowly the image started to flicker out, before fading to transparency.  Turning her head, the image of Clair reached out her floral sleeve picking herself out of the crouched position on the ground.

“Can you see me this time, Doctor?” She mouthed, forming her lips into a small smile while waiting for a response.

“I’m not sure.” I laughed uneasily, not knowing what kind of answer to give.

“Before I completely disappear, please try to save me.  Well if you have time ‘cause if you don’t I completely understand.”

“Of course I have time Clair, I’m a timelord remember.” At that remark a grin filled her face, reaching all the way towards her eyes. “But listen Clair, this is important.” I waited until she nodded her head in confirmation.

“What time do you have on your watch?”

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-*A Stetson is the hat that The Doctor wore in The Impossible Astronaut.

My Goal Is 1,000 Reads On Chapter 20 (This Is 18 [W/ 600])

 *yes, I know I totally screwed up with the brackets

Have fun @spring break.

I’m Not Okay (I Promise) Erin Xx