LORDOSIS (BOOK 1) (COMPLETE)

LORDOSIS Chapter 20

"Come brother," Layton said as he placed a hand on his brothers shoulder supportively. "She will be waiting in the afterlife for you, we must release her soul."

Kaylan did not speak the same as he had not spoken a word since his wifes death. He had sat with her body throughout and let no one near her. He had bathed and prepared her body for the funeral pyre himself. Even in death he found her beautiful and begged her soul for forgiveness. He had failed her since the moment they met. When his mother arrived he had no time to warn his wife or prepare her for the evil his mother was capable in the pursuit of maintaining linage. So many obstacles had already been put in their way and he still had not confessed to her his greatest secret.

His mind flew back to his wolf form and how funny his wife had found it when they met in the maze. He had forgotten he was a wolf and had chased her through the maze just as he had before and tried to catch her. She had been scared when he caught her but he had been extra careful to watch the pressure of his jaw upon her ankle. She had such beautiful ankles. He remembered times when they had made love and he had held her foot, kissing her ankle and making her blush as she giggled at his touch one minute and lost herself in it the next.

The same as she had laughed at his wolf form and he had lost himself in her touch as she had stroked and kissed him in the maze. He had even shown her his belly. In all his years as a wolf he had never show his belly to a human. Submitting to a human. Even his brother had laughed as he lay there loving her kissing and caresses.

"It is time," his brother reminded him.

He bent a kissed his wife's lips one last time before covering her face in shroud. His brother comforting him as he broke down as he had so many times since her sacrifice had broke his mother spell and along with it her influence over her son.

"I can do it if you wish to remain here," Layton offered.

Kaylan shook his head and lifted his wife's body up into his arms. The guards led the way and he heard the screaming and crying from the crowd of mourners as he carried her out and began to climb the steps to place her body on the pyre. He knelt down and tried to let go of her but he knew the minute he did he would never hold her in his arms again and he never wanted that moment to come.

Layton watched his brother as the crowd waited patiently for him to release his hold on his wife's body. Several minutes passed and he stayed the same, knelt with her in his arms and just staring at her face through the muslin cloth. Endeya eventually walked up the steps carrying her child and knelt beside him putting an arm around his shoulder. He broke down again and held his wife tighter.

"He is never going to let her go," someone whispered in the crowd.

Layton watched as Endeya comforted Kaylan and the baby stared at the crowd in confusion. Kaylan kissed his wife through her shroud and finally let go. For a moment he looked as though he was about to pull her back up again but Endeya pushed the baby into his arms to fill the space left.

She walked with him down the steps, as the baby cuddled him and Layton gave her a thankful nod. Endeya's husband took the child as a torch was handed to Kaylan. He held out a shaky hand and lit the pyre. Passing the torch to Endeya who lit another side and the crowd stood and watched as Tahira was released to the gods. Everyone knelt and prayed. Layton knelt beside his brother and felt his sorrow. He prayed for his redemption and his mother comeuppance. Endeya's husband reached out an arm and put his hand on Kaylan's back supportively. Layton had been surprised that people were not out for his brothers blood. Instead they had felt his mothers power and how crippling it was, there was no point in fighting as you would never win. Even in this small victory Tahira had lost her life for it. No victory was worth that. Having fallen victim to his mothers evil the people allowed his brother to mourn and offered him comfort. His brother did not want comfort but he was far too polite to reject it and Layton knew it was a help to them as well as Kaylan.

Kaylan gathered his wife's ashes and scattered them in the maze. He stayed in the maze for three days and nights. Layton heard his brother howling at the moon during those days but left him to his solitude. When his brother finally emerged he looked like death itself had taken to beating him.

From that day forth Kaylan never spoke a word; he didn't pursue their mother in vengeance or take his own life as Layton had feared he would. Instead he lived with his own guilt, he was the reason his wife had took her own life and that of their unborn child, he was weak minded and vulnerable as he had opened himself up to his wife and allowed himself to love, which in turn had let his mother influence him. Resulting in him violating everything he stood for as a husband under her command.

He had no control but remembered it all. His poisonous words, his hand lashing out in anger and knocking his wife to the ground, his mother punishing her and his not defending his wife against it because he felt she deserved it and needed to learn her place. His mother was the alpha female not her.

Worst of all was his forcing her to disrobe in front of guards, treating her like an animal and the fear in her eyes when nearly attacked her in wolf form as his mother had convinced him that she was taking up with a guard in an attempt to escape their marriage. He had wanted to rip her throat out for the betrayal and had it not been for his brother he surely would have. He remembered her lying in the bed scared and he nuzzled under her the feel the warmth of the bed and sniffed her checking for other male scents. He found none. The only scent he found was fear. He would give anything now to have her back in that bed. He would stay away and give her freedom to live as she wished. Choose a new husband and bear his children.

He spent a large amount of the day sleeping so he could see her face. Try to remember her touch, her laughter, her smile and those beautiful green eyes. He had never got to see her dance and since her death the stories of her skill were widely told and although some thought they were exaggerations he knew it not to be. He knew how amazing her body was and how once in a dream of the future he had seen her, dancing, spinning and caught a glimpse of her green eyes and long dark hair. He had awakened announcing he finally had the dream of his wife. He had told Edward who his future wife was to be. He knew it was a city behind walls, a harem with a fat dictator in charge. He had sent Edward to find her and under instruction from his mother others were brought as back up. Kaylan knew that he would recognise her when he saw her. He had drawn her face with the help of Edwards wife who was a fine artist but nothing had prepared him for her beauty in the flesh. She had taken his breath away and stolen his heart with just one look from those eyes.

He was grateful the Edward had taken his own wife to visit friends when his mother arrived and sent a message to tell him to stay away until he could send word to say it was safe to return. He remembered their faces when they returned after the funeral and heard of Tahira's death. Hannah had passed their new born son to her husband and rushed to hug him. He felt a fraud being given comfort when he was the cause of her demise. However the fact that he could not hide his own tears made other feel free to cry too and he felt momentarily better when Hannah held him tight as he had pretended it was his wife in his arms and in his mind he told her over and over how sorry he was.

He had forced a weak smile when being introduced to Edward and Hannah's son. He had thought them lucky for not being here as he was sure his mother would have taken that childs life from the mothers womb to appease the gods. However, the dream of his own children never came. He had wanted lots of children with wife. He had imagined a daughter with her eyes and smile. He had hoped to fill the city with couples sharing the same dream. Love, children and a home. Instead he was alone and that is the way he liked it. Alone in his torment praying for her soul but he didn't beg for forgiveness as he didn't feel he deserves it. He would live his life to the end of his days and be the best he could be so perhaps by the time he reached the afterlife she would allow him just a moment to look upon her face again and say he was sorry and ready for her to punish him also. The afterlife was not going to be a pleasant life for him and that is the way he wanted it for why should his life have one moment of happiness in this life or the next after everything he had put her through.