She Wears Toms, He Wears Converse

Chapter 21

"One Minor Detail."

Astrid's P.O.V

I was still shocked at the events that took place a few moments ago. When did I ever become so confident in my actions? Why didn't I re-think what I had done? Part of me wants to admit to making a mistake, but if that was considered a mistake, it was the best mistake to ever happen to me.

Currently, Carter was a few feet away, calling his mother, Elle, to see if she had checked into the hotel. For some reason, in this instance, my fingers were the most exciting thing possible, which could be the reason why I hadn't noticed Carter's arm stretched towards me. He was offering to help me up; I took his hand and hopped to my feet.

"The cab will be here in a second." He stated with a toothy smile. His smile was so incomparable. However, he wasn't fooling me. A few minutes ago, tears were streaming from his face.

"You don't have to fake a smile for me," I whispered, letting my hands slip from his. His eyes darted to his now empty hand. When his eyes returned to mine, I noticed that his smile grew smaller.

"What if you're my reason to me smile?" He questioned. My answer to this question appeared to be a necessity, but my lips refused to make a sound. I couldn't transfer any words from my brain to my mouth. I've never been anyone's reason to smile. My mouth opened than closed. My hand reached to scratch the back of my head; Carter's ocean orbs continued to pierce mine.

"I'm not a very good reason, am I?" I managed to ask while I recalled the previous events. It was my turn to want an answer. However, I didn't receive one. A taxi was coming to a stop near us. I bit back a smirk as I moved towards the vehicle. Carter quickly leaped in front of me just to open the door for me. I was always one of those girls that could care less if a guy opened the door for you or pulled out a chair for you, but it doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it. I thanked him before hopping into the back seat.

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We had just entered the hotel room; Carter was in the bathroom. I could hear the sink running, and Elle wasn't in the room. Her stuff wasn't here either. I shrugged it off before walking towards the door again. When I was almost there, I noticed that the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar; a golden light illuminated a strip on the floor. I let my fist give a soft knock on the door.

"Carter?" I asked.

"Come in, love." He told me. I hesitantly stepped through the door. He stood there, shirtless while brushing his teeth. My eyes immediately scanned his flawless figure. He let out a deep laugh before spitting the toothpaste into the sink.

"Where's Elle?" I asked while sitting next to the sink.

"In her hotel room." He answered.

"We're rooming alone?" I questioned. Carter stepped closer to me; I allowed his arms to snake around my hips.

"Do you have a problem with it?" He inquired while moving his body closer to mine. We were now only inches apart; our foreheads connected.

"Not at all." I breathed. My finger traced along his bare chest, my eyes obviously ogling the toned muscles before me. My fascination with his perfect body seemed to amuse him. He emitted a deep laugh. I looked away while my face turned crimson; I was quite embarrassed that he noticed how much I was staring at him. His forehead rolled to my cheek while he continued to chuckle at my response. While my eyes were off of Carter, I noticed a bottle on the opposite side of the sink. The label read 'Zoloft.'

"Carter, are those anti-depressants?" I whispered. His forehead left my cheek; all signs of amusement were gone. I immediately felt regret for mentioning it. After a few seconds of silence, I spoke.

"Carter, I'm sorry," I told him. I've never seen him this speechless.

"Don't be." He mentioned. At this instance, I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know whether to be happy that the pieces were starting to go together or sad from the realization of this devastating truth. His statuesque figure wasn't helping with my undecided emotions, either.

"I- I never knew." I stammered while staring straight ahead.

"Listen, Astrid." He began while placing firm hands on my shoulders, forcing me to keep eye contact with him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I just want you to know that tonight was the first time in a long time that I've taken them." He added. It was my turn to become a statue.

"I didn't want to tell you because I don't need them. There's no point in worrying you when I don't have to."He continued. I remained frozen.

"Say something... Anything..." He pleaded. The desperation for an answer was now becoming evident.

"If you don't need them, why do you take them?" I questioned.

"That's the thing. I need them... but I don't. Everyone thinks I need them, and my doctor has my mum convinced that I need them, so I only take them when I feel the way I used to." He answered. It was so easy for him to hide things from me, yet I knew that what he was saying was the truth. It's easier to notice when someone is telling the truth than when they're lying.

"Used to?" I inquired.

"Used to, like, before I moved here." He briefly explained.

"Carter," I whined while pulling him closer to me. He rested his head on my shoulder and began to rub circles into my back. Carter has helped me through so much, and I wanted to be able to help him in the way that he helped me.

"Astrid, you've done nothing but help me." He softly mentioned. I swear, sometimes it was as if he could read my mind.

"Don't exaggerate," I said.

"Don't you wonder why I've stopped taking them?" He asked. He took my silence as motivation to answer the question. He angled his head so that his lips were only millimeters away from my ear.

"It's all because of you." He told me. All because of me. All because of me. I just couldn't get those words out of my head. It was as if someone had recorded it and played it on repeat. All because of me. All because of me. The way his deep voice could turn so soft and gentle. All because of me. All because of me. Those four words made me feel special; they made me feel as if I've finally accomplished something. However, there was one minor detail...

"Then why did you take one tonight?" I asked.