Chapter 3

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"You're just a victim of the war in my head."

Astrid's P.O.V

Do you ever lay in bed at night and have to take a deep breath because you know there is no way you'll ever go to sleep? No matter how much you try to relax, your brain decides to race. You find memories you thought you forgot, memories you regret, and memories you cherish. You think about your surroundings, the people around you, the future, anything, and everything. It's a weird feeling because no matter how hard you try, you can't fight it.

It's true now, as a kid, you always tried so hard to stay up all night, but as you grow older, it becomes a bad habit. I think I got around one hour of sleep because I couldn't stop thinking. I'm not going to lie. Carter did cross my mind but, so did many other things. I don't know what to think of Carter. I've seen two different sides of him. I decided to give him a chance. You can't judge someone before you know them. Everyone deserves a chance. Let's see how today goes.

I threw on my outfit for the day and grabbed my phone and headphones before hopping out of the door. I began listening to the song "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M while speed walking down the street. I was supposed to leave a couple of minutes ago, and I don't want to be late. I rushed through the school doors, and the first bell rang. The bell that signifies the students could now go to their lockers.

"Cutting it kind of close, don't you think, Astrid?" Aiden questioned.

"I guess so..." I answered.

"Someone didn't get enough sleep." He noted.

"I didn't get any..." I replied with a smile.

"I stayed up until three. You should've come over." He told me. We now began to walk up the stairs while everybody else did. The stairs in the morning are complete chaos. Everybody is trying to get up at once, so you're surrounded by people who are pushing, shoving, laughing, and yelling. I hurried through the doors and over to my locker. Aiden had a locker on the main level so, he had his books ready before the bell rang every morning. My fingers quickly spun the cold metal lock. When I was grabbing my ancient history textbook and notebook, a piece of paper fell out. I unfolded it to read the word "Fat" written in thick capital letters with a black sharpie. My face fell. Sure, this isn't the first time I've been called fat, but it still hurts. I folded the paper and put it in the Ancient history textbook. I slammed my locker door shut and closed the lock to see Aiden was standing on the other side of my locker door with his mouth wide open.

"Who wrote it?" He asked me. His soft features turned harsh and angry.

"I don't know," I whispered as I headed down the hallway with my books hugged against my stomach, and my eyes only looking at my shoes.

"I'm sorry you had to endure something like that," Aiden told me as I reached the door to my class.

"Thank you for walking me to class. Hurry to yours before you're late." I responded as I sauntered to my seat. I feel emotionless. Not happy, not sad, not angry, not anything. The teacher began to talk about Ancient Greece, but I couldn't bring myself to hear a word she was saying. I just kept stealing glances at the paper that lay in my textbook.

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First and second period seemed to pass. Today was different. Instead of paying attention, I didn't listen to a word being said. I practically ran through the halls to avoid the crowd. I was the first person in my third-period math class. I jumped into my seat, put my head on my desk, and just blocked everything out. I needed a minute to myself. I counted to ten, took a deep breath, and decided to put it past me. At least just until the end of the school day. I pulled my head up from my desk as the class slowly filled with students. The bell rang, but the teacher hasn't entered the class yet. As always, a small conversation took place, and everyone tried to talk over everyone else.

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