The Marriage Contest

Chapter 15: Moving forward.

Song for the Chapter:"I would like" - by Zara Larson.

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She cleared her throat and stared ahead into the wide, clean lens. "I've never done something like this before." She moved lower down the bed so that she lied resting in a more slanted position than pole straight. With her right hand holding the small camera in front of her, she took a deep breath in and began speaking earnestly.

"Gina and Eden had given me and Jonah these small cameras that we're supposed to use for vlogs or whatever it was she called it." Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Since the camera crew can't be with us every moment, these cameras are supposed to be used to clue you all in on what has been missed. Gina thinks speaking to this camera will be some sort of therapy for me. After tonight, I'm truly hoping she has a point."

Vanessa ran a tired hand down her face and then, with heavy black bags under her eyes, she began to speak to the camera.

"Things have got really complicated since coming home. I thought we'd have a nice, quiet week as we tried to get used to married life. It was Jonah's first time meeting my son and I was nervous. I should have known that the hardest thing to deal with would not include Jonah and AJ. I should have known that with this show being on that my past would come back to haunt me."

Vanessa sighed deeply. "My ex came back today. He saw the show and I'm not sure what is going through his mind but, he wants me back. He wants to be a father to AJ. It was so weird seeing him again. He looks better than he did eight years ago, older and bigger. The army seems to be good for him. I'm not so sure seeing him did me any good though. I don't know what to feel anymore. I want to believe that Cole has changed and that he wants to do right by AJ and me but, things are different now. I have Jonah to consider. I'm married to Jonah and though I still don't know why I joined this contest, I can't back out now. It wouldn't be fair to him."

Vanessa took in a shaky breath as the tears she'd been holding back came to the surface. She didn't want to cry on camera. "I'm sure that deep, somewhere inside of me, I know why I joined this contest but for now, all I believe is that I wanted a father figure for AJ. It's so confusing when I think about it. I keep telling everyone I know- including myself-that I wanted to marry someone so AJ can have a father and yet, whenever I see Jonah and AJ getting along, I panic. I get nervous. I'm so scared of AJ getting attached to something that could possibly end tonight. Cole coming here proved that. I almost ruined things with Jonah."

Swallowing the lump in her throat away, Vanessa looked at the camera and prepared to close off her monologue. "One good thing did come from tonight. I finally realized that I need to try harder with Jonah. I've been keeping my walls up because I was scared but I'm starting to realize that if I ever want something to work between Jonah and I, I need to open up a little. Starting from now, that's what I plan to do. He doesn't know it yet but tomorrow, we're having a family day."

With one last tired but hopeful smile towards the camera, Vanessa switched off the camera and prepared to fall asleep, an excited smile gracing her lips. She hoped tomorrow worked out well.

#

Jonah woke up with a stiff neck but hope that today would be better than the day before. Although Cole's appearance in their lives threw a spanner into an already messy situation, he was hopeful that Vanessa was in his corner and not Cole's.

Stretching his back, Jonah climbed out of bed and made his way towards the kitchen for breakfast. Before exiting his room, Jonah took a glance at the time. He frowned noticing that it was almost eight in the morning menaing that Vanessa and AJ were already gone for the day. He was hoping to see them.