(F/N)'s Diary

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I did something terrible this evening. I just punched an officer. And not just any officer. It was Captain Levi. Apparently, those rumors about him not getting drunk were false. But, what if it is true, and that it was another one of the serum's effects on him?

But, that's not really the issue here. I punched him because he tried to violate me. Not that his feelings for me changed after giving him an insult and contributing more to his damaged knuckle. No. It was because he thought that I was Petra.

My heart feels very painful right now. I know I'm awfully jealous now that I have found out that something had already happened between them, and not just once. Why didn't Petra tell me this? Was it because she knew all along that I will be jealous?

I shouldn't be thinking about this. I have no right to be jealous. They love each other deeply, and Captain Levi was very distraught at her loss. And he would never, ever return my feelings. Hurting him like this, I'm very positive that he hates me more than ever now.

What is this pain? Does jealousy have to hurt like this? It feels like my heart is being shattered into multiple pieces! What is this? What is wrong with me? Am I sick? Am I dying? I can't take this anymore.

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