something I need to get out there

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Okay so I've been looking through the official Instagrams of the ST actors and I've been feeling odd... I don't know what I really feel at all, wherever I see them smiling and laughing I get... Angry?! I really can't explain it and It's actually hurting me, I want so desperately to be like him, to be with him, it hurts me so bad... Im not comfortable saying how deep this hurts me but it's immense, Im going to try and go to sleep, if anyone can help me out in any way please do, Im losing my mind and I can't stop it all from happening, goodnight, thanks and bye-bye

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