not today | joshler

Twenty Seven

Twenty Seven

SEVEN MONTHS
A           G          O

Tyler kissed Josh. It wasn't like any of their other kisses, gentle and loving. It was just a brush of their lips; just a peck.

"You know I love you right?" Tyler mumbled. He hadn't left Josh's body. Their foreheads and noses were touching, and they could feel each other's breaths.

"Of course I do. I love you too, Tyler." Josh said, closing his eyes. He had a small smile planted on his lips.

Josh, he doesn't love you. He's using you for popularity.

You think it's love but to him, you're just another boy he'll fall in love with.

You're worthless; no one likes worthless–

"Hey, I'm going to take a nap for awhile. Is that okay with you?" Tyler asked, snapping Josh out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. I'll be right here next to you when you wake up." He said.

Tyler nodded, pulling a blanket that was just on the foot of the bed over his shoulders. He was asleep in a few seconds.

Slowly, Josh stood up and grabbed two pieces of paper from Tyler's desk. He wrote letters.

The first letter he wrote dear mom and dad and on the second he wrote dear Tyler. He scribbled down some words that barely made sense at the time, then left the room.

Tyler's next door neighbor, Jake, was an old friend. He went over, knocking hurriedly on the door; he opened on the fourth knock.

"Hey, Josh. What's up?" He said. His dark hair was messed up but his green eyes were vivid with life.

"Can you hold on to these for a while?" Josh said, holding out the folding papers.

"Sure, I guess?" Jake mumbled and took the letters from his hand. "I won't read them by the way. What are they for though?"

"Just something silly. Give the yellow one to my parents tomorrow." He paused to think about it for then, hesitantly, he took the white paper back. "I'll hold onto this."

"Okay–"

"Bye, Jake. You're a really good friend, thanks for holding onto the paper."

Josh turned around and walked down the driveway and back to Tyler's house. Luckily, Tyler hadn't woken up. He snuck back on the bed, laying down next to Tyler.

He loved him. He loved him. He loved him so much that he'd give him the world.

Josh slipped the paper into his back pocket and whispered to Tyler. "I love you, present tense, no matter what happens. I love you. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

He knew Tyler wouldn't hear him; he was a heavy sleeper. Josh didn't want him to hear him.

But Tyler did hear him. He wasn't asleep, just acting like he was. And in that moment, he wanted to ask Josh what he meant. He didn't ask; he already knew.

Josh wasn't fine.

;~~~~~;
the last two chapters are going to make you cry. well, maybe. it made me cry.