Another you. {Austlan Cashby}

Chapter fifteen

I was gonna write this earlier but I got so comfy I fell asleep. Day two now, here you go. n_n
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[Austin]

When I woke up, I felt a comfortable warmth around me. I rubbed my eyes and accidentally hit something when doing so. I sat up and saw Alan asleep. Fuck, I fell asleep on him? But I took him to my room?

I couldn't believe he actually camped outside my apartment. I felt really bad for him so I just had to let him in. But that doesn't mean I've forgiven him. How can he just show up three years later and expect everything to be okay?

I sighed and looked at the white clock hung upon the wall. '3:09am' it read. I yawned just reading the time. I accidentally nudged Alan causing him to wake up. Shit, no lucky escape. I was about to get up but he grabbed my wrist immediately. "Austin, stay." he slurred through his knackered words. I tugged my arms away from him. He looked like he was going to cry and my heart was impaled. But I had to stay strong.

I went and sat at the kitchen counter. I slouched down and buried my head in my arms. Before I knew it, I was concealed in tears. Evidently, Alan could hear me due to the fact that he ran up to me and hugged me from behind. He rested his head on my back and whispered, "What's wrong?"

I couldn't tell him, it would ruin my front. The truth is, I missed Alan, so much. Every night since he left I'd cry myself to sleep. Truth was, he was my everything. And I loved him so much. He was funny, adorable, loving, caring and he was all mine. But he left, and I had to deal with it. I wasn't good enough to look after him and he left.

It was 'for the best' he said. Yeah, if you call the best crying every night because of a boy, yeah. It hurt, so much. Words cant even begin to describe how badly it hurt. The most I could say is that every time I thought about him, it was like a dagger was thrown straight into my heart. Or a shot put was thrown at my chest.

Alan was rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. "I need some air." I mumbled, wiping my face. I opened the door to the balcony and sat down on the chair around my table. The best thing about my apartment was on one side it was nice and quiet, but the other side was beautiful. It was nice and quiet too, but you could see the whole skyline. It was remarkable but I couldn't think past the situation. I stood up and rested my arms on the balcony rail. I sighed to myself quietly, "I really wish I could jump off this sometimes."

"I heard that." A voice peeping from the balcony door murmured, causing me to shudder. I let out a sigh and sat down again. "Austin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for technically crashing into your home but I had to come back. I've sorted myself out now and I just wanted to be a better person for you. I know you'll never forgive me for just leaving me like that but please, you were my best friend.. You were my everything," he said. "You are my everything.."

Tears were still stinging at my eyes. Of course I want Alan back, but... It's horrible. It's a terrible feeling that I'm not taking the absolute love of my life back. No, I'll never be happier with anyone else but Alan. That's why it hurt. I loved him so fucking much, but as much as I loved him.. Ah, I hated him too. I hated him for what he did to me.

But honestly, how can he think he can run back here and make everything okay? What, does he expect me to think these last three years didn't happen? Well, what was I supposed to do? I want Alan back, but I cant let him push me around like I'm nothing.

But maybe that's it. Maybe I am nothing. Maybe I'm worthless, useless. Maybe I'm just his toy. What if he got bored wherever he was and decided to get me back because I'd be running back for him.

Fuck, what am I thinking?

Alan sat down on the chair at the other side of the table. I had one elbow rested on the table and my other hand occupied tapping the surface as I thought. I closed my eyes a made a verdict. I stood up and rested my elbows on the railing. Alan came and stood beside me. "Well?" he asked. I took a deep breath.

I turned and faced Alan. I examined his face. His bright orange hair, his nose ring, the woman's face tattooed on his neck, his delicate pink lips... I sighed, looking at Alan and I...

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Word count: 817

*A/N: Ahhh, what's he gonna do? Comment your suggestions and I might choose one. n_n Read, comment, vote! Thanks for your current support guys, I love you all. ♡*