Another you. {Austlan Cashby}

Chapter seven

[Alan]

My eyes opened slowly. I woke up with a burning heat revolving around myself and the body beside me. It's arm was over my waist, clasping the sheets tight and light snores whispered behind my shoulder. I stroked the bare arm and shuffled slightly, Austin... This was really happening. My crush was mine... It was dark outside, I pulled my phone from under the pillow and saw the time was only 2:17am. I only slept a few hours.

I shuffled so I was facing Austin. He nuzzled his head deeper into my neck. I learnt that I was stripped to my boxers and my baggy t-shirt from yesterday. Slowly and delicately, I stroked Austin's brown hair. He looked so peaceful, so gentle. It was like a petal of a flower. Powerless but so beautiful. I placed my hand on his bare chest and felt his steady heartbeat. Austin adjusted his position, learning that my cold hand was placed on his warm body. He put his hand on mine and muttered, "Alan, what's the time?" He wiped his eyes but I pushed his hands away. I stroked his hand, holding it lightly. "It's like two in the morning, go back to sleep." I kissed his head and allowed him to fall back asleep. I turned onto my back, allowing access for Austin to rest his head on my chest.

This was strange. 24 hours ago, I was in my bathroom, crying. Depriving myself of sleep. Pulling a piece of metal across my skin and hating everything around me. But tonight, I have someone to love. Someone who cares for me. I started to get too deep into my thoughts. Because at the end of the day, Austin is just like my blade... I love him, and I'm going to get attached. I'm going to use him because I hate myself, and I'm going to use him as my help, my get away. He's going to hurt me, but I'm going to love it. And then yearn for him again. I don't know what I'm getting myself into... My thoughts slowly drifted me into sleep, and each breath clung.

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*7:30am*

I woke up to a painful alarm. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms. The stretch pulled the cuts under the bandages but the burning sensation fulfilled my temptations. I wandered my hands over the sheets, learning that Austin wasn't there. I stood up, picking up my jeans which were next to the bed beside me. Austin walked out of his washroom in just boxers. He was humming while drying his short hair with a towel. I watched him, this delight is all mine. I cleared my throat, causing him to jump. "Austin, do you have a shirt I could borrow? I don't really want to wear this again." I muttered, scratching my palms. He smiled and nodded. He rummaged through his closet, throwing me a long sleeved, black and white striped shirt. I caught it, saying "Thanks." before he returned a "Your welcome." I pulled it on, it was larger than me but it was okay, I liked baggy clothes.

"There's a spare toothbrush in the washroom cabinet. Brush your teeth quick, I cant kiss you with morning breath." Austin giggled, sending me a smirk and a wink. I laughed, heading to the washroom. Austin got dressed and went downstairs as I began to brush my teeth.

I took a few minutes brushing my teeth and washing my face. I dared myself not to look at my arms and kept to the dare. I sighed, washing my mouth out. As I finished, I head downstairs. The smell of waffles seduced me into the kitchen, where Austin stood. "Finally!" he exclaimed, excited. I went slightly red. He was so eager for me to hurry. "For me? Thanks, lovely." I said. He pulled me in by the waist and pressed his lips on mine. I felt bad, was I really just using him? No..? As I was about to return the kiss, Austin pulled away. Looking at me, concerned. "Are you okay?" he said. I nodded, looking down. Softly, he lifted my chin up and kissed my forehead. "Eat up, pumpkin. And cheer up, we have to leave soon." He said through a small smile. I nodded. "Wait, Austin!" I said quickly. "What? I was only going to put my shoes on." He replied. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him in for a quick but meaningful kiss. He smiled in between it and ran to put his shoes on while I tucked into breakfast.

As I finished up, I washed my dishes and head to put my shoes on and grab my bag. "When's your dad back?" I asked Austin who was leaning against the wall. "In an hour." He smiled at me, opening the front door and allowing me to step out. I bowed to him, courteously and he gave me his 'blessings'. Austin tried to spark conversation on the way to school but I'm not really the talking kind of person... "You don't talk much do you?" Austin asked, there was a softness to his voice. As if he wanted more... Like I wasn't good enough. ".. I'm sorry. I'm a horrible fr-" Austin cut my off. Coughing and adding, "boyfriend. And a great one actually." I went blunt red. My cheeks physically burning causing me to cover my face with one hand. Austin swung his hand into mine. "You're adorable." he whispered into my ear. He let go of my hand, noticing we were near school now. We both understood that it was soon for us to come out publicly... But in all honesty, I didn't want to. We'd just get bullied, pushed around, made fun of. I didn't want Austin to go through that. No way...

[Austin]

I let go of Alan's hand. We were near school and I was afraid that people would start judging us. Alan was going through enough and us being 'together' would make it worse for him. Knowing that half the school are homophobes. Was I just a burden to Alan? Even today, he didn't return my kiss and didn't make much of an effort to talk on the way to school. But then again he was acting weird when he pulled me back to kiss him? Is he just leading me on? I understand he's going through a rough patch, but what was last night? Did he kiss me just because he could? Did he really like me...? One day obviously didn't tell me much about him then. To be thinking like this so early in a relationship isn't good... Maybe I pressured him...

What if he doesn't want to be with me at all...?

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Word count: 1125

*A/N: Thanks for reading, voting and stuff. I really appreciate it. ^^ Hope you liked this. ♡ I don't really know what the plot is, I make it up as I write, so sorry if there's anything unexpected, it's all a surprise to me too. *