Fearless (A Mulan Retelling)

Chapter Fifty One

Iris took no time in walking out the door herself. The general was walking fast... but she caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder. With all of her strength, she yanked him backwards a little. He seemed surprised by this. At the falter, Iris stepped out in front of the general, blocking his path.

"Zayn," she said, voice as stern as he'd ever heard it, "Why in the hell are you walking away from me like some sort of mad man?"

Iris hoped that no one else would walk by and bear witness to their squabble.

"Because, Iris," he said with a sigh, "I have to go. Our emperor could be in danger. You know this."

"You're giving me nothing but excuses, right now," she pointed out, "I deserve more than excuses. And what's more, if he really is sending out men to capture our leader, then it's going to take at least a good little while to get to Oraborn... more than just a day or two. You have time. Do I not deserve more than this?"

"Please understand, Iris," he whispered, "He could have men already stationed at Oraborn, ready to abduct the emperor. It could have been completed yesterday when I got the letter, for all I know. Hell, maybe even before that. Heaven knows that it would take at least a couple of days for him to deliver that letter to me. Meaning, I really do have to hurry."

"So that's it, then?" Iris looked irritated, "You're shooing me like a fly when the going gets tough? I don't know if you know this, but I'm still the same gods damned person that I was. You let me fight before, I don't see what's changed."

"I know I did," Zayn said, exasperated, "But I won't let you die. I can't. I won't turn a blind eye anymore. I've seen so many people die. I've seen, no let my m..." he paused. "The point is the same. But you --I care for you more than that other rogue. I won't watch you die. It would destroy me."

"You said you needed me. Remember that? You said you needed everyone to get this done," she reminded him.

"Yes. I remember. I really do. But you know what? I need you to live more. Even if you don't want anything to do with me after this, I still need you to live. I need to know that I didn't cause the death of someone I care so much for. And you could die. Hell, I could die. We all could. But if I die at this fortress, then I want to die knowing that you're not dying beside me. I need you to grant me that."

"General," her voice was confident, "Don't you know? If you fail at the fortress, then Eldia may as well be forfeit. We will all become prisoners --maybe even worse. And I would rather die fighting a tyrant than live serving one."

"I'm not your general," he reminded her.

She shot him an annoyed look.

"I won't fail," he promised, "Have faith."

"Like you seem to have faith in me?" she commented, "What makes you so gods damned sure I'm going to die?"

"I'm not. But I refuse to chance it," he said, "I swear that to the gods themselves. To the Mother and the Sun, I swear it. Iris, I have to go. Don't follow me. Just go back to Eda," he walked past her again, "You accomplished what you set out to do. Your father is saved. Don't you want to see him?"

"I do," she admitted, "But I want to help you. And damn it all, I care about you too... but I don't understand you. I don't understand why you would recruit me to this group, continue to tell me how much you need us all or how good of a soldier I am, bring me all the way here, and then just send me packing at the very end. If you were so damned desperate to send me home, then why in all of the hells didn't you do it when you found out?"