Because Mom Wasn't Enough

Please won't you push me for the last time?

"God dammit, Mom! How 'bout I just leave then? Will that make you happy?" I screamed. I threw my phone and clothes into a bag and stormed out of my room.

"Don't you fucking dare do this to me, Jodie Mea! Not again!" I pushed by her towards the front door.

"Me!? You're the one doing this to me!"

"I'm not the one packing your bags!"

"You're right for once! I'm finally doing what's best for me not whatever you tell me!"

"How could you be so ungrateful!? Where are you even going to go?"

"I don''t know, maybe I'll go find Dad!" I yelled to her sarcastically as I opened the door. "Either way, anywhere's better than here."

"Jodie," My mother continued starting to calm down. "If you walk out that door, I better never see you back here again. I can't handle anyone leaving again." I avoided her eyes, and slammed the door behind me.

--

"Cali, tell me you brought beer?" I asked, desperate for something to clear my mind. I couldn't get that last moment with my mom out of my mind for the past few hours.

Fights like that weren't uncommon between us. In fact, we probably spent more time screaming at each other than not. I couldn't stay at her house for more than a few days before it just got too tense and I would leave. You could call it running away, but it wasn't really. I always came back--just let everything settle down between us a little.

I tried. I really did try to be a good kid. I knew my mom had it rough, being a single parent on top of everything else she was dealing with. But days like today were just too intense for me. I didn't like drama, but somehow it always had a way of seeking me out whether I liked it or not.

This morning I had walked the house still a little drunk from last night. It wasn't that that upset my mom so much--she wasn't exactly sober either--it was what I said. I asked her about my dad again. I knew it wasn't a good idea but it just slipped out. I was pissed about the way she had yelled at me the night before and I wanted to make her mad too. I was a bit of an inciter when I was drunk and it always seemed to get me into trouble. Sometimes I was actually a little scared of what I might do when I was drunk.

This time though, when I asked about my dad, she was the one to flip her shit. She hated when I mentioned him. All I had ever gotten out of her was that she thought he was a piece of shit that left her pregnant--probably nothing more than a hookup, honestly. Either way, I had never met him and probably never would, not that I cared. There were already enough negative people in my life and I didn't need any more.

"Better," Cali stated simply, holding up a clear bottle. "Vodka." I felt a grin creep across my face as she passed me the bottle. I cracked the top, and swollowed almost a third of it in one gulp. I stood up from the cot and stretched. I reached my hands up to the ceiling, and I felt two arms snake around me from the back. Speaking of negative people.

"Hey, beautiul." It was Sam, my boyfriend. He and his parents didn't exactly...get along. That was one thing we, and basically everyone here, had in common. That's kind of the reason that we were all here. Sam, Cali, Mark, and I all lived in this old abandoned warehouse. And to be honest it may have been the only thing Sam and I had in common, and for that reason, I had made a promise to myself that I would break up with him when I got a chance. The only problem was that he was the one who brought me here in the first place a few years ago, and if I dumped him now it would just make everything awkward, especially seeing as I have no where to go.

Cali's parents kicked her out after they found out she had a drug problem, and they tried to send her to a rehab center. Mark got kicked out after his parents found out he got a girl pregnant. Sam's father is actually the chief of the police department and nearly killed Sam when he was brought to the station. It was a pretty similar situation between my mom and me. The difference was that before my mom sobered up, she did almost kill me. Not that I didn't deserve it, but still. I'm sure if she had drank anything today she would have done it. It got a lot more heated than I meant for it too.

Half the time I mentioned Dad and asked who he was, or why he left she'd give me a different answer, sometimes saying "Oh, he went off with some slut, and left us to fend for ourselves" which I had a sneaking suspicion to be false. It wasn't that I didn't trust what she said, it's just she is still mad at him and who doesn't have at least a little bit of a biased opinion when they're mad? I really didn't care either way. As long as I don't have to deal with his ass too.

I took another swig of the vodka, drowning out the rest of the night. At least tomorrow I could go back to work; it gets my mind off things.