Chapter 15 - Broken Fingers and Wet Lips

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Matt sat outside at break, his fingers skimming over images of himself in his sketchbook, things he’d seen and the bottle of perfume that smelt of raspberries. He wondered why he always drew about things that related to him at that point in his life, how he was never able to properly draw something completely random like a shoe unless it had something to do with what he was thinking about.

          It was cold outside but the heat that radiated off Matt was enough to keep him comfortably warm, unlike everyone else who was outside, who were hugging themselves to stay a normal temperature as the wind beat against their backs. He wished that he was like them at times, but at this point he was quite happy being different because he didn’t suffer like they did. If he wanted to he could take off his top and still be fine with the wind curling against his spine.

          He had been quiet in lessons. Geography had been boring and science had just been uncomfortable. Luckily he had Art next, meaning Kristen wasn’t going to be in his class. She was off to do some Latin, which, apparently, she was completely fluent in already.

Matt had no idea that Kristen knew any languages but when he was swapping lessons he had overheard Franck and Harriett, two people in his Geography, talking about how Kristen was acing her Latin and that they’d overheard Gareth and Kristen talking about how she also knew French, German, Italian, Arabic and Russian. He was surprised at this and just a little bit jealous too, as she knew so much more than him already.

          Now he sat, closing his notebook and sighing, watching as someone’s glove was carried off by the wind into the closest wall. Seeing Kristen with Gareth after their little exchange in the classroom had been weird. He didn’t know how to react to her anymore. He’d been strong enough to let her close and touch the cut that was almost, if not all, completely gone by now. However, getting any closer than that was probably pushing it.

          Although, he’d been very good lately. He’d been able to be in control with her even when she was touching his chest which made him think that maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to act normal after all with her.

He wouldn’t push himself to kiss her though. Yes, he was able to touch her more without stressing out in case he changed, but kissing her was different. He’d end up relaxing against her and putting his guard down, endangering her, himself and anyone else around them. It wasn’t a good idea.

Unfortunately.

          No, he couldn’t think like that. He didn’t want to get with her. Why was he suddenly thinking about having a relationship? Why was he thinking about her, of all people? Was this her plan all along? Was he crazy?!

He’d forgotten about what risks there could be in having someone so close. Now his features hardened and he shook his head from all of the ‘maybe’s’ swimming around up there. There was no maybes in his life. There was nothing. No. A wall. A barrier. He couldn’t cross it. He didn’t know what he was fully capable of. He could kill her.

          Speaking of which, she was with Gareth. At this moment in time they were both on the other side of the yard, huddling with Laura, her newest guy and a few other fans, lads and girls who were only friends because they wanted to be popular. Kristen was laughing with Laura, holding onto a black hat that she must have taken out of her bag.

Gareth was behind her, talking to one of the other lads quietly, grinning at something in an evil kind of way. His arms were around Kristen’s waist and he squeezed her closer to him, cuddling her before kissing her shoulder and neck. She was smiling as Laura was laughing at something, one hand on Gareth’s.

          Suddenly he spun her around in his arms and grabbed her face, kissing her roughly with force. Her eyes almost popped out of her skull as she tried to get to grips with what he was doing. Matt tightened his hands into fists and blew out, wondering whether to go over and break it up. He knew he shouldn’t but he had one hell of an urge to do so.

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