Our Rebel Love Song

 Ash opened his front door for me and I walked in with him following behind.

“I was thinking that we could watch a movie or something.” He said as he tossed his keys on the table while walking to the living room. I made sure to take my shoes off before I walked through the house. I sat next to Ash on the couch in front of the TV. I still felt uncomfortable with him. He can't just expect me to fall in love with him again; have things go back to normal.

“So. What movie are we watching since I love movies so much.” He laughed and put his arm around me as he picked up the remote and clicked a few buttons. The movie started playing and when I saw it, I almost screamed.

“It's Batman!” I yelled excitedly and he nodded.

“Yeah. Nice strategy to get you back, huh?” I was hoping that he was joking because, as surprising as it may seem, Batman wasn't going to work.

Throughout the movie, I'd glance over at him and he;s just be staring at me strangely. It creeped me out a few times, but I easily became distracted by Batman again with my ADD and all. When the movie ended, I leaned back on the couch and looked over at Ash again. He was still giving me that odd stare.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked. Then he scooted a little closer to me.

“I was just thinking.” He told me and I scooted away.

“About what?” We both knew what he was talking about, though. Then he scooted even closer to me this time and put his hand on my leg just like he did in the car.

“We have the whole house to ourselves. We're all alone, Andy. We could do anything we want to and we won't get caught.” I nodded nervously.

“Yeah, like watch more movies.” I spoke and stood up. Ash stood up quickly after me and pushed me back onto the couch. He had me lying down on my back and he sat on top of me. My adrenaline was rushing.

“We could do anything we want, Andy.” He seductively whispered into my ear and gently kissed my neck. I had to admit, it didn't feel bad-and if he had tried this a few weeks earlier, I would've given in-but I wasn't going to give up my virginity so easily.

“Get off me, Ash.” I demanded.

“No.” he said while kissing my neck. He was almost irresistible.

“Yes. Get off of me. We're not going to do this. We're not even going to make out or anything. You'll be lucky if you even get a kiss from me.” I told him. He sat up, still on top of me and looked at me, almost pouting.

“I thought you loved me, though.” I just rolled my eyes.

“Since when did being in love mean having sex?” You're not getting that from me, Ash. If that's the only reason why you invited me over, I'm leaving. And get off of me!” I yelled, but he didn't.

“You can't leave. I still have to tell you why I broke up with you. After I tell you you'll understand and things will go back to normal. I want everything to be normal again, Andy.' I chuckled. Normal.

He finally got off of me and sat beside my feet. So I sat up and scooted next to him.

“Explain.” I said and he started speaking.

“John told me that the “lifestyle” I “chose” wasn't the one that the family was going to be involved with or not one that he was going to be involved with, I should say. So he told me to break up with you and not talk to you again to forget about my “old lifestyle” and “start fresh”. I didn't want to do it, but he said if he had to kick me out, I wasn't allowed to talk to Tora or Mom anymore and I wouldn't be allowed to take any of my things or have any help from my family. I couldn't lose everything.” I know it sounds selfish, but I would think that he'd risk everything for me. I'd risk everything for him, but I should've known, I'm so delusional.

I finally stood up again.

“Well, it's nice to understand how, but we're not getting back together any time soon.” He looked shocked and hurt. I just gave him a little nod and headed to the door.

“But you can't just leave me like this.” He said.

“You did.” was all I said, not even turning back around to look at him, and walked out of his house. Maybe he should've thought before pushing me around like he did. I wasn't a toy. He needs to think about how I would feel and how everything would've effected me, too. I'm still very much in love with him and knowing that I can go back to him when I want makes me feel like I need some time away from him.