Our Rebel Love Song

18-I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

There he was. Standing there with his sister and another girl who was either his “girlfriend” or a friend. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure anymore. He could be trying to completely forget me and ignore his feelings about all guys by dating a girl. I don’t know.

“Hi, Andy.” Ashley said awkwardly.

“Hi.” I looked down again. If I looked at him any longer, I would’ve blushed.

“What are you guys doing?” Dylan asked them for me.

“I’m walking my sister and her friend, Rin, to Rin’s house.” That was a relief. I was so happy to hear that he wasn’t dating her. Just knowing that he’s still, possibly, free made me feel alright. Just knowing that I still had a chance to get him back, knowing that I could still try. I just felt like trying to get him back was the only way I could be happy again. I know, I’m such a dramatic teenager.

“Who are those guys?” Ashley asked, pointing at CC, Jinxx, and Jake.

“They’re the new kids, new friends of ours.” Dylan informed him and he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. CC stepped up and shook Ashley’s hand.

“Hi. I’m CC. Now who the hell are you?” I looked up at Ashley That got me a little nervous. I wanted to hear his answer. I could see the panic in his eyes; he didn’t know what to say.

“I’m one of Andy’s and Dylan’s friends.” Good answer. I looked over to Tora and she gave me a smile and a little wave. I almost waved back, but I didn’t know if I should. I was guessing that she was on Ashley’s side because they’re siblings, after all. CC just went along with some flirting as if the make the incident less awkward or something. Who did he flirt with? Tora’s friend.

“So, you come around here often?” He’d ask her and she’d just giggle and uncontrollably  blush. I need to learn how to flirt like him. I was just speechless. Out of everyone, we run into the one guy that I didn’t want to see. Now he was all I could think of. Every single time I glanced at him and saw that he was alright, it broke me heart a little more. I was filled with so much sadness and anger against him. I hated him so much and I just want him to die, but I also just wanted him back so badly. I just wanted him to hug me and comfort me, but I knew that wouldn’t happen any time soon. I just wish that I could get over him already and didn’t feel like I lost part of me when I lost him. I tear rolled down my cheek.

“Andy, are you okay?” Dylan whispered into my ear. I shook my head. “What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about him, Dylan.” I said. Dylan looked a little worried.

“Andy, you look like you’re about to cry.” 

“That’s because I am. I just want him back.” Then I started crying on Dylan’s shoulder. Ashley rushed over to me.

“Andy, are you okay.” he sounded so concerned.

“Get away from me.” I said.

“Andy, I’m sorry. I just hate seeing you cry.”

“Well you’re the reason why I’m crying so just leave me alone!” I yelled. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him. I could help but hug him and cry.

“Andy, I still love you. You have no clue how much it hurt me to tell you that I had to break up with you.”

“What’s going on?” Jake asked. “I’m confused.” We just ignored him.

“Everything sucks without you. School’s been awful. All I do is think about you and feel so guilty for hurting you so much.”

“Then why’d you do it?” He sighed.

“I shouldn’t tell you now, Andy. Not with everyone else here. Just, please, don’t cry anymore.” I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and all of the pain went away. I felt so much better with him with me.

“Okay.” Then we just awkwardly let go of each other. I took a glance at Tora and she was smiling like an idiot, just like she always would, but everyone else, except for Dylan, was bewildered at what they just saw.

“I think we should go now.” Ashley said. I nodded.

“Yeah. We should. Bye.”

“Bye, guys.” We started walking in different directions and he gave me a wink. I started blushing and my face got so red.

“So. Does anyone want to explain what just happened?” Jake asked.

“That’s Ashley,” Dylan said, “He was Andy’s boyfriend.”

“Looks like you two are gonna be get back together pretty soon, then.” CC said.

“Yeah.” Jinxx laughed. Dylan grabbed my arm and whispered, “Andy, you can’t just take him back that easily. You don’t really believe that he really loves you, do you?” I didn’t know how to respond to that in a way that would satisfy him, so I guess I just had to go with the truth.

“Well he seemed pretty convincing to me. You know that I’ve been really wanting him back. So why not take him back?” He rolled his eyes.

“So that you’re not a wreck again, maybe. Don’t you ever learn, Andy?” I shrugged.

“Hey, that Rin girl was pretty hot.” CC said. “Do you guys talk to her a lot?” We shook our heads. “I should really get to know her. She also seems pretty nice.”

“I guess.” I said. I really wasn’t interested in what anyone else was saying. All I cared about was that Dylan was now upset with me and Ash probably wanted me back and I was willing to take him back right away.