Finding Kendall

Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

"Hey, Emilia. How are you feeling?" Kat asked after she walked into my bedroom.

It had been a couple of days since my episode and since then I hadn't seen much of people. I obviously saw Finnian – who slept next to me every night, although I kept a wall of pillows between us and he, thankfully, kept his hands to himself – and Selena had come a few times to visit as well. I just wasn't very good company. I felt so overwhelmed with everything, I just needed a little space. I think they understood that. I had spent the better part of the last forty-eight hours in bed, watching movies. Finnian had even been bringing me food. Turns out he could actually be pretty sweet. I never would have guessed.

I shrugged, not really sure how to put what I was feeling into words.

On one hand, I felt kind of depressed. The life I had known the last year... I felt like I was losing it. Ivaylo still hadn't answered any of my calls. Skye and Maisie did, but even that wasn't the same. I was always honest and open with them, but I had to lie about what was happening with me the last week. I think they could sense that I wasn't being truthful, which was like a giant elephant between us. It made our conversations awkward and stilted, not the usual carefree and supportive talks we've always had.

I just felt like I was losing everything that was familiar to me.

But on the other hand, I was honestly starting to feel more like Kendall. I could feel the bond with Finnian. Maybe not like he could, but I could feel it bubbling between us, simmering just under the surface of my consciousness. It scared me.

I felt safe and in danger at the same time, my emotions at war with one another, much like my wolf and the spell cast on me.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kat inquired. She seemed to understand me. I didn't say anything was wrong, but it was like she could sense that there was and even what it was. I felt so in sync with her sometimes.

"Not really." I sighed heavily. "I'm just trying to deal with everything."

"I understand." She sat at the edge of the bed and patted my hand gently. "This may not be a great time, but Lili and I are struggling. Anything could help us. Finnian mentioned that you've been having dreams..."

I swallowed. I had been planning on telling her at breakfast the morning before, but I had been kind of upset afterward. I hadn't seen her again after that, so I didn't the chance to do it.

"Yeah, I have." I admitted.

"Can you tell me about them?"

I nodded and described my dream in as much detail as possible.  

"Hmm, that's interesting. How often do you have these dreams?"

"Every night."

"Every night?" Kat repeated, her eyebrows drawing together. "Since when?"

"I had the first dream a couple nights after I got out of the hospital. I've literally had it every single night since then."

"Have you told anyone?"

"Besides you and Finnian? No. I wanted to. Maybe I should have, I don't know. I trusted my brother more than anything for so long. But I couldn't ever bring myself to tell him. Something was just telling me not to. As much as I trusted him, I trusted my own instincts more, you know?"

"That's great, Emilia. That's a wolf trait, definitely, and one that runs strong in your family. You should always listen to it and trust yourself. And as for the dream I'm really glad you told me about it. I'm not sure what it means, but I think it could help us. Let me do a little research and see what I can find out about it, okay?"