The newest member of the Johnsons household.

Chapter 15- Guilt.

6:30am on a saturday morning I awoke in Connors bed, completely undressed. My eyes began to tear up as images of us having sex flashed through my mind. What was I playing at?. God I really was a slut. I was supposed to be with Haden not Connor so why I ended up with Connor instead of Haden I don't even know. I searched Connors room for all my items of clothing and got dressed and quietly leaving his room. Connor was still naked, lying in his blankets snoozing away, while I was freaking out and trying to silently quick walk to my room before anyone woke up and spotted me leaving Connors room. I finally made it too my bedroom safely. No one was awake yet, I had nothing to worry about. Still feeling rather tired, I jumped straight into bed and carried on with my dreams. 

——- 

Shifting in my sleep, I awoke. I stared at my alarm clock and saw it was 11:02am. I yawned and stretched and pulled my covers away from my body. Rubbing my eyes I stood from my bed and walked into my closet, rooting through my draws until I found my favourite underwear and leggins, paired with a beige jumper. I walked into my bathroom and poured in radox bubble bath and began to run my bath. 

10 minutes later and I was lay soaking in paradise. I had never used Radox nor had a bubble bath ever in my life. In fact this was probably my first bath I'd had in a couple of years. I'd usually just shower whenever our water was actually turned on back at our old place. I sighed in pleasure as the hot water began to massage my tensed muscles. I decided I was going to forgot about everything that happened last night and just concerntrate on my studies in college so that I can get a job and move out to my own home. Since my father died, I feel like everythings just messing up. Yes, I got a new boyfriend and a nice house and two foster parents that I actually like but I feel asif I'm out of place. Do you ever get the feeling that your just intruding or being a burden? I do. It feels as though I don't belong in this family and in all honestly, it actually hurts. 

I reached to the sink where my shampoo was located and squirted the herbal essenses branded shampoo onto my good hand and began to run it through my hair. I rinsed with water and applied the conditioner to sooth out my hair. I could only use one hand because the other's casted and I'm strictly advised to not get it wet otherwise it'll crumble, yay. 

After my hair was all clean, I rubbed shower gel across my body and shaved in all the places I needed to shave. I hopped out the bath and slipped into my clothes. 

Today was going to be a day where I can just chill out and not have to worry about anything.

——-

"Hi honey, it's Sarah. Where are you?" My phone beeped as I lay on my old lumpy mattress. I take it back, today wasn't a day where I could just forget everything. I was recently told my old home was going to be getting re furnished and then put up for sale. I know I'm supposed to be happy or at least a little bit relieved that my past was behind me but for some strange reason I just couldn't let go.

I decided to text Sarah back and let her know I was safe, I didn't tell her where I was because I didn't want to be disturbed. I just wanted to think things through and let myself deal with everything that's happened. It's strange to think I haven't been here for two weeks. It seems like years ago.

I lay my phone next to me and inhaled a deep breath, I wasn't myself recently, I felt depressed. I had gotten a new home and a new family as well as a new boyfriend. I know it was too soon but I just wanted to start a new life and that meant having a new boyfriend and collections of friends. Once again though, luck decided to turn against me. Haden had gone back to Amber and I slept with my ex boyfriends big brother who is 4 years older than me. I'm positive I'm going to hell, whatever I must of done in my previous life to deserve all of this I'd love to know.

Tears began to weld in my eyes. My fathers voice ran through my mind. "Worthless piece of shit" His voice hissed. I cringed at the sound of his voice, it still sounded as if it was poisonous and full of hatred. Tears left their ducts as I shut my eyes trying to block out his voice.

His voice began to hiss at me once again. "Your a slut! Just like your mother. A complete waste of space" He whispered sharply. It sounded like he was actually here in my room with me, his voice ran through the room and echoed of the bare walls. 

"I'm not" I cried back. "I'm not a slut! I didn't ask to get molested by your perverting friends right under your nose. I didn't beg to be restrained and held down while they had there way with me. I didn't ask to feel like everything's my fault and I sure as hell didn't ask to be your daughter" I screamed at my own mind.

"Scarlett" A masculine voice shouted through my old home.

I crawled up to the top of my bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it daddy! I'm sorry I love you" I shouted back, I cried as fear shook me.

I heard doors opening.

"Please!" I screamed again.

"Don't hurt me" I pleaded. Was my father coming back to frighten me or was it just my imagination?.

"Scarlett" The voice appeared at my bedroom door. It didn't belong to my father though. It belonged to Haden.

"W-what are you doing here?" I stuttered feeling all embarrassed from my shouting and screaming.

"Mum said you ran out the house when you found out it was going on sale. I came to make sure you was okay." He replied with a small smile as he walked towards me.

I shifted and tried to scramble further up the bed but failing quickly as the wall hit my back. "How did you know I was here" I demanded. Anger suddenly ran through me.

"I just figured you'd come here once you found out, to say goodbye or something" He shrugged looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Well you found me, so you can go now" I hissed. His eyes widened slightly.

"Your my girlfriend Scarlett I need to make sure your okay, I'm always here for you." He said with a sweet smile.

My heart dropped. "W-what about Amber, aren't you back with her?" I asked him curiously.

His eyes widened before he began to chuckle. "Scarlett I'm with you now. Ambers just an idiot. Ignore her" He told me.

My eyes began to water, I've made a huge mistake.