Killing Me To Love You (Jandie) | Josh & Andie | Foursome show, Awesomess TV

Chapter 1

Hi guys, this is my continuation for the show Foursome on Youtube Red. This is just my point of view so I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think in the comments below :) AN// If I get 6 votes and a few comments I'll update. Stay tuned :)

Walking out of the principal's office, Josh had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It made his limbs grow weak as he paced the empty hallway. He felt dead inside, but he was determined not to let emotions cloud his judgment. Trying to keep his face blank, Josh fought his shattered heart. 

He tried to blink away the blur in his left eye, but to no avail. Trailing his fingers up his face, Josh discovered his eyelid was swollen and inflamed. Hell, it burned.

However, that pain was nowhere near comparable to the emptiness he felt inside. The throbbing in his chest, where the broken shards of what used to be his heart resided, was becoming unbearable.

With a shuddering breath tumbling out of his mouth, Josh resisted the urge to cry.

His best friend had just punched him. Gingerly touching his eye again, Josh didn't know what hurt more: the fact that Alec hadn't trust him, or the fact that through his own stupidity, he had lost Andie.

Alec was very protective over his sister and Josh gave knee-jerk reaction to avoid suspicion. He knew how risky it was to lie about his feelings, but he'd done it anyway.

Saying he was going out with Greer was probably the stupidest thing he had ever said. Coupled with actually jumping into a relationship with the sluttiest girl at Brayer, Josh felt absolutely pathetic.

With every glimpse of hurt he saw in Andie's eyes, his heart sunk a little bit more. When faced with the impossible choice between ruining his friendship with Alec or being with Andie, he thought he was choosing the lesser of the two evils.

And how's that working for you, buddy? Whispered a sarcastic little voice in his head.

Josh tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down, hearing how ragged and labored his breathing was. Thoughts raced through his mind at a mile a minute, and he couldn't seem to slow them down. He heard his own words echoing in his head, over and over again.

I would have picked you, Andie, if things had been different.

With Andie's hurtful gaze swimming before him in his mind's eye, Josh doubted he deserved to be in her presence again; forget ever dating her.

Josh hated himself. In addition to his stupidity with Greer, he had been foolish enough to help Kent get closer to Andie. Seeing the one he loved with another guy sickened him. The memory of Kent infuriated him more and he lashed out, kicking a nearby locker.

"Fuck!" Josh screamed. 

Regretting his action, and with well-deserved pain, he limped over to the wall, wincing as he gripped his foot. With a deep sigh, he straightened and continued his brooding walk. He had bigger problems than a bruised foot.

Like blind stupid love?  Supplied that voice from before. Josh huffed and agreed with the quiet voice.

"Ain't that the truth?" He said to the empty hallway. 

Wanting only her happiness to come first had caused Josh to ruin everything. A small tear threatened to spill over the edge of his eyelid. Needing release and not caring, he shamelessly let it fall.

Josh wanted to clear his mind, but this place held too many memories. I could go home, Josh thought. The last thing he needed, however, was his mother fussing over a black eye or the corresponding lecture about being raised better he was sure to get. Laughing humorlessly, Josh looked around the silent hallway and wondered why the foursome hadn't come out of the principal's office. It seemed strange.

The sound of the door creaking made Josh look up. Gasping, he could've sworn he had seen Kent leave the room. Yet there he was, wrapped around Andie like an octopus. Worse even, Andie was happily standing there. Disbelief wrenched further at his already broken heart; he needed to get away, and fast.

"Josh? Is that you?" A familiar voice called out. Josh turned away, unable to look. He couldn't face Andie right now; not when he was battling so many emotions within him.

Running away as fast as his legs could carry him, he soon heard footsteps following. Quickly he headed to a place where he could finally be alone.

"Josh, what's wrong?!" Pleaded Andie, slightly out of breath. Kent apparently stayed behind, obviously not giving a shit about Josh.

Typical. Thought Josh sardonically. I get you the girl and now I'm chopped liver.

Quickly he took a left and sped up, losing sight of Andie. Reaching the media room, Josh shut the door and collapsed on the couch. Emotionally drained, he switched off his phone, not wanting to be disturbed.

But it was hard to ignore Andie's calls from outside. Unlike Kent, she was bent on finding him. He held his breath every time he heard her voice come near. After a while her voice faded away to blessed silence. Finally alone, Josh let go of everything and cried harder than ever before.

It killed him to ignore her like this, but he had to. Josh closed his eyes again and silently wept, crumbling down the walls around his emotions. A small tear trekked down his cheek before plopping on the couch beneath him. Several tears followed, leaving a damp spot on both his shirt and the couch.

It was at this point that he realized how deep his feelings were towards Andie Fixler.

The pain was torturous; it was as if he could physically feel his heart aching. He winced and placed a hand on his chest, feeling prickling thorns pierce him with every beat of his heart.

His tears eventually ran dry, and he sat there listlessly for what felt like hours. He was roused from his trance by the sound of his stomach rumbling. He was sure his hunger would have left him with a stomachache if he hadn't felt so disconnected from his physical pain.

Josh stood up and started searching the room for food. As he was browsing, he stumbled upon a bottle of Vodka neatly tucked away inside a cabinet. It was probably Dakota's, since Josh had overheard Andie saying before that Dakota had spiked the punch. Bitting his lip, he stared through the translucent glass at the liquid inside. Never one to solve his problems with a vice, he threw caution to the wind. After today he deserved it.

Flopping back on the couch, Josh took a swig of the Vodka, pulling a face at the unfamiliar burn. By the fourth drink, it wasn't so bad and the liquid easily slid down his throat. Sloppily he slammed down the bottle and cursed as he spilled some. Taking another swig, he was careful not to waste another drop. He planned on getting piss drunk tonight.

Tonight he wanted to forget about that stupid, loud mouthed Aussie. "Stupid Kent. With his stupid clothes, and that stupid face." Josh grunted as he knocked back another shot.

Pressing the cold bottle to his flushed face, Josh giggled. Being in the media room, getting piss drunk in the dark while nursing a broken heart over a girl; he might as well be Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.

"Of all the girls, in all the schools, in all the world, I had to fall for her." Josh muttered. 

Taking another drink, he grimaced at the bitter taste. Immediately he thought of Andie's lips and how sweet they were. Ones he would never taste again.

"No!" Josh weakly protested against his mind and screamed hoarsely to the empty room. He took another gulp and decided life could wait 'til tomorrow. Then he could either avoid Andie for the rest of his life or... Josh wasn't sure yet. Maybe he'd get lucky and get swallowed by the ground. That way he wouldn't have to make a decision. The latter looked highly unlikely and, rather than face the music, he settled into the night, drunk and alone.

As drunken blackness slowly claimed him, Josh silently admitted how much he loved Andie. Wishing against hope that the alcohol killed him, Josh morosely thought it was either that or Andie. Because loving her would certainly kill him.