Diaries of an Angry Fangirl

☞ my old books

Here is a way to describe my old books in a few simple words: Cringy. Cringy. And, oh yeah, FUCKING CRINGY. 

Y'all, if you don't read my stories then you won't know about any of these (which is saving your pure heart, trust me), but when Fangirl hit one million reads, yeah I was honored but I was nervous as hell too because like... there's now a million people out there... who think... that's how... I write. I was just looking over it (it was a dumb fucking idea and I can't stop my skin from crawling), anD I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE READING IT.

IT'S. SO. BAD.

WHY WHY WHY.

PLEASE STOP IT. 

DON'T READ IT.

I WOULD DELETE IT IF PEOPLE WOULDN'T HUNT ME DOWN, I SWEAR. 

This goes for all of my books except Fat, Stolen Kingdom aka Anarchy Amor (which I really need to update oops), and The Inception trilogy like... THEY'RE ALL PIECES OF SHIT with those exceptions.

I guess the best out of all of them would be Infatuation, but even that one... it hurts to look back on. Half Bad didn't have a plot for shit, and that's when I started incorporating curse words in my books because I thought I was cool as fuck, so there's like a "fuck" or a "shit" every five words. Schizophrenic is just... please... no. And Fangirl.... tbh it's probably the worst of them all. 

Like I wrote them all in 2012-2013 when we were all cringy little carrots and I REGRET IT SO MUCH.

I'm only writing this rant because I needed to say all of this. I needed to warn the innocent souls out there who don't need to be tainted by such mediocre garbage. I'm sorry, if you enjoyed any of those previously mentioned books, thank you so much. Honestly. I really do appreciate you reading it, but... you gotta admit fam... it's not good. When you compare it to my writing now, it makes it look like a twelve year old wrote all of it...

Oh wait.

BECAUSE A TWELVE YEAR OLD FUCKING DID.

I'm seventeen now, so I kind of have an idea on what I'm doing (not really though), but I've come a long way from that desperate and cringe-worthy little twelve year old who thought she was the next J.K. Rowling. 

Side note, please don't give me false hope. Please don't tell me something is perfect when it isn't, because I'm a perfectionist and I'll see right through that bullshit. I'm a fan of constructive criticism where you tell me what you would've liked to see and how I can improve, not like "OMG IT WAS FLAWLESS." Which, again, is indescribably flattering and humbling, but I want to be better, you know? I'm going to see flaws even if you don't, that's why I always ask for my readers' opinions on plot twists or character point of views, and stuff like that. I want to improve. Please help me blossom into that potentially beautiful butterfly. Please don't nurture me in my spoiled cocoon. 

You know what, I'm not even going to apologize for those comparisons. Since it's nearly midnight, I'd say those are some damn good similes. (did I forget what a simile is oh my God I'm reverting back to twelve!1!11!!!1!)

Again, I don't really know why I typed all of this. I kind of wanted something to rant on something and here it is, since the recent things I want to rant on would make me emotional and I ain't got the time or mental strength for that shit.

I don't have the mental strength for these fanfics of mine either but... Since everybody seems to love them so much, that's why they're still here so. 

Truthfully though, I do smile and I am genuinely appreciative when I see all of the positive support and feedback. If I didn't get any of that when I wrote those shitty books, I wouldn't be writing the slightly less shitty books I'm writing now. I am improving, and I have those shitty books to thank for it. 

Still don't know why y'all like them though 🙄