Crazy

#22

"Whatever this is that's going on between us, let's end it."

It echoed in my head like thunder.

"What?! What are you talking about?!" I shouted in panic.

I couldn't help it. It was so sudden! I didn't know why she said it.

"Take the USB and leave, Alyssa. Let's pretend all these did not happen."

I stepped towards her but she stepped back. I flinched. What the hell was going on?

"I don't understand," I said with forced calmness. "Where is this coming from?"

She wasn't looking at me. It was as if she was struggling to say those things to me.

"I'm cutting off all your attachments to me so just go. Please," she begged. There was a quiver in her voice.

I clenched my jaw and took the box from her. She looked up and I saw that she was hurting.

I dropped the box on the floor. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"I have already almost forgotten about that recording. Honestly, I don't care about it anymore. What I want to know is why you're doing this," I said firmly.

She didn't answer. I lost my cool.

"Damn it, Mika! Tell me why!" I shouted.

"Because I like you!"

My heart started racing and it seemed like it was about to explode. She said she likes me. She likes me. God, why was I not kissing her yet?

"Gustong-gusto kita, Alyssa."

I was confused why there was a sad smile playing on her lips and why her eyes were glassy. It was hurting me.

The happiness it gave me when she said she likes me was short lived because of that tension in the air.

"If you like me then why are you cutting your ties off with me?"

"Because I want you to be happy," she said firmly. "It's not too late for you and Den, Alyssa. You can still get her back. Ayokong makagulo."

"If this about last night and Den-"

"No, Alyssa. It's not just that," she cut me off. "Don't waste your time on me. I'm not worth it." She smiled sadly again.

I stepped towards her and enclosed her in my arms hastily. I hugged her way too tight I was probably hurting her. But she did not stop me. I was so angry at her and she knew. I had to let my frustrations out and I chose to hug her close to me. Painfully.

"I'm the one who gets to decide who I want to spend my time with," I started to whisper harshly in her ear. "Just so you know, I like you, too. Very much. And I want to spend my time with you. You're worth every nanosecond of my time."

I felt my shoulders getting wet.

"Hindi mo dapat sinabi 'yun, Ly. Now it will be even harder and more painful for me to let go," she sobbed.

I pulled back and cupped her face. I stared at her eyes, trying to make her see just how damn serious I was.

"I'm not going and I'm not letting you go."

I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't thinking. The words just flew out of my mouth from the bottom of my heart. Oh, fuck it. The heart wants what it wants and my heart wanted Mika.