Drop Dead Gorgeous (YoungWritersPrize)

Final Goodbye

Some are bound to die young. By dying young person stays young in people's memory. If she burns brightly before she dies, her brightness shines for all time.

It was a cold, sunny day. You know, like one of those winter days with a little bit of sun, but not enough to keep you warm. There was no wind, no clouds, no rain, just...melancholy. I felt it in the air, in the people...In Lucas.

But I didn't feel it. I didn't feel the sorrow...I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel the sadness for the ashes of the girl that died. I didn't knew her. And yet...

And yet I knew exactly who she was. She was me. It could've been me. So easily.

The woman in the coat, hardly standing on her feet, that could've been my mother. Well, she probably wouldn't cry as much, but I'm sure she'd feel something.

The man next to her looked like he would never cry. And yet he did. Old age furrowed his face, making the path of the tears unreliable.

And then there was Jimmy. He stood there, holding Cookie, who was weeping inconsolably. He tried not to cry, but I saw tears in his blue eyes.

They were her family, standing in front of everybody. They were the ones holding her picture, a picture of a girl with a pretty smile, they were the ones guarding her urn.

And yet their grief did not struck me.

I don't know why, maybe because I wasn't quite there yet, perhaps because I met her once...I was holding Lucas's hand, feeling its dead weight. He didn't knew her either, but I could see grief in his eyes. The pain. The pain that he felt for his best friend. For his loss.

We were standing at the back, behind all these people. I'm guessing they were her family, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends...Maybe she didn't even knew all of them. It didn't feel like we should be here. We didn't belong.

But then they started singing. Three men began singing the saddest song in the world. I don't remember the lyrics, I just remember the music. I just remember the feeling. The sound itself was heartbreaking, the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And a tear rolled down my cheek. A single tear. I didn't cry for her, I cried for me.

Between the graves there was a giant pile of red carnations, waiting for the last goodbye. We all took one and threw it in the tiny hole with a white urn in it. She died and people buried her in red flowers.

Flowers. They bring sorrow and joy.

Lucas went over to Jimmy and expressed his condolence and I was next. I don't know exactly why I did it, but I took the silver rose out of my pocket, the very one Jimmy once gave me, and put it in his hand.

»I'm so sorry for your loss.« I said and looked in his bright, blue eyes.

He gazed at me with a strange look in his eyes, twirling the silver rose with his fingers. »Skye...« He whispered, but a strong hand pulled me away before he could say anything else.

»Let's go for a walk.« Lucas proposed.

»Here? In the graveyard?«

»Yeah, why not.«

I squeezed his warm hand and we took a stroll between the graves. Everything seemed stone cold. Even the bleeding trees were bowing down, kissing the memories of the people buried beneath us.

»You don't like funerals, do you?« I asked.

»Not a fan of them.«

»They're sad.«

»Mhm.«

We walked down the path, looking at all the graves, and I kept thinking the weirdest thoughts – more people will die, where will we put them? When they burn you, cremate you, do they leave the clothes on? Does it hurt, dying? Or does it just feel like falling asleep?