o shit waddup
kill me
corey was silent. and the silence scared dan to such an extent that he could barely breathe. corey was always happy, and he never allowed things to get in the way of that. dan had never seen him angry until now, and the regret of telling him was beginning to show.
"you are going to go into the lester's house and stay with reagan. i will have a chat with phil. then i will come back later, and we will have a proper date that doesn't involve someone else's tongue being shoved down your throat. alright?" corey's voice was low.
dan nodded meekly. "yes, i-i m-mean, ok-okay. i-i'm sorry, i-"
"don't be sorry, dan. it isn't your fault. right?" he looked at his boyfriend, his eyes dull with disappointment.
dan's heart ached for the boy beside him. "i p-promise, i d-didn't k-ki-kiss him. i-it was a-all h-him,"
dan didn't want to lie. he liked corey a lot. but- he sighed to himself- he liked phil so much more. was it selfish to play corey like this? of course it was. but that didn't mean he exactly wanted to stop.
corey smiled softly, leaning forward and catching his lips in dan's. dan could feel his lips quivering against his own, and his conscience screamed at him. when corey pulled back, his eyes were red.
"i think i'm in love with you, dan howell."
dan's heart stopped beating momentarily. he stared wide-eyed at corey, unable to move. he opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. he closed it.
"it's alright, i know, that was really quite sudden. i'm sorry. go inside, then. i'll be round later, okay?" he unbuckled dan's seatbelt and unlocked the doors.
dan nodded, feeling numb as he gripped his phone and opened the door. he stepped out and waved at corey, closing the door and watching him drive off.
as soon as the car was out of sight, he turned and sprinted across the yard, bursting through the lester's door, and skipping up the stairs, ignoring catherine's confused looks. he opened reagan's door and flopped on top of the girl, who shrieked, and burst into tears.
"oh my god, dan! what happened?" she asked frantically, sitting up and running her hands through the boy's hair.
as clearly as possible, dan attempted to explain what had happened, only scaring and confusing reagan more.
"sweet, you're going to need to speak a bit clearer for me alright? i'm going to grab you a glass of water, i'll be back in a knick."
gently, reagan moved dan's head from her lap and onto a pillow, patting his hair softly before slipping out of the room. dan could hear she and mrs. lester speaking in hushed tones, attempting to make sense of the situation. dan stared at the wall in silence until reagan came back up, sitting on the bed.
"okay, babe. i need you to sit up please. i brought some crisps as well, if you're feeling hungry."
slowly, dan sat up, and slumped into reagan, biting his lips.
"here, have some water," reagan urged gently, handing dan the glass.
dan took a few sips, his eyes glued to the grey duvet. reagan murmured something in his ear, and dan set the glass down, lying back in her lap.
"ph-phil, u-um. h-he k-kissed me an-and i kissed-d him back, b-but i-i told cor-corey th-that it-t was a-all him, and he-e said he l-lo-loved me, but i-i thi-ink i lov-ve phil," he spoke quietly, afraid that corey would be listening in and hear everything.
"oh, my sweet, sweet boy," reagan mumbled, petting dan's hair. "sweet boy,"
she didn't know what to say, but it was understandable. dan didn't know what to say either. he was only sixteen, for christ's sake. he wasn't sure what to do about anything. he could feel his lips been to quiver.
"i'm s-sorry i ca-can't s-seem to do an-anyth-thing right-t," he whimpered, hiding his face.
"oh, dan," reagan murmured. "no one can,"
they sat there quietly for a while more, whispering a few words to each other occasionally, but the rest of the time went to reagan playing with dan's hair and dan on the precipice of a deep slumber.
a part of it made dan feel nostalgic. something about laying on a bed together reminded dan of all of the little playdates that they had together, where they did nothing but blab about dogs and rain.
dan's heart ached for that time again. to be six years old, without a care. a time when he could do whatever he wanted and be whoever he wanted to be. things were so much simpler back then.
a sudden buzz from dan's phone jolted them from their tranquil state. dan lazily pulled his phone out of his pocket. it was a text, from an unknown number. he couldn't remember if it was the same one as before. he unlocked his phone and red the message, a feeling of dread washing over him again.
unknown: you're going to regret this, daniel.
