A Boy's Story

Never again

The scene before me was all too familiar.
"Josh, please tell me that I was just dreaming...," a lump rose in my throat and Josh's head snapped up, his glistening eyes meeting mine. We were still in my room except now we were both in clothes. Well I was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt, he was wearing the clothes he had recently put on. "Please tell me you're not leaving me!" I begged, sobbing effortlessly. I'd never cried this hard in my life, and the emptiness still dwelled inside me, taunting me. I couldn't live with this...I can't take it!
"No...never...what is it gonna take for you to realize that?" He squeezed my hand and looked me in the eyes. So much pain- I leapt forward and he embraced me in his chest, holding me so tight and so intimately. I've never experienced this much sobbing in my entire life. Except once. When I had left Josh, just before we both went to the hospital. I now felt the terror and sheer horror that Josh had felt the night he thought he'd lost me. I cried more and more at the thought of putting my beloved through something like that. I couldn't get his agonized face out of my head before Jessica had stepped out from within the shadows...
"Marry me!" I shouted, pulling back and wiping the tears off of my face, desperately trying to imply the sudden resolution I had come too. Marriage was the perfect option for both of us, and I know for a fact that we'd both dreamed of it. "I love you Josh, to the very core of my existence. You're all I've ever needed to survive and I love you! I love you! I love you!!" I shouted, throwing my arms around his neck. I had caught the shock on his face before it was hidden. It was silent for what seemed like hours except for my quiet crying and the sound of Josh's soothing hushes in my ear. He gently set me back so I was underneath the covers. I now feared his answer which I had recently been so sure of.
He finally spoke, breaking the silence, "Yes...," he whispered. Then he got up to leave.
"No! Don't leave!" I panicked, shooting up and reaching out for him even though he was already across the room. I could feel the new tears coming and I know he saw them too. He turned back and got underneath the covers with me, letting me wrap my arms around him.
"Dylan...you don't know what you're getting yourself into...," he whispered.
"Shhh...I don't care. I love you more than anything...without you I'm nothing. I don't care what I have to do but I am going to marry you no matter what. And you already said yes so you can't get out of it now." I told him, accidentally letting a few tears slip.
"I know. You're my life and you always will be. I am going to marry you Dylan," he answered, a smile pulling at his lips. I felt my heart flutter and an ounce of darkness was lifted off my shoulders.
"Then why were you leaving?" I asked, the darkness creeping up again.
"Because there was something I had to do, I wasn't leaving you Dylan, I don't know where you got that idea." His eyebrows pulled together in confusion and he tightened his arms around me.
"But you said...'bye Dylan' and then you turned to walk away..." I trailed off, wondering what if I had seen him right.
"No, I didn't." He sighed. "I was going to get you a drink, since you told me- right as I was about to finish- that you were thirsty," he whispered. I groaned.
"I can't comprehend all of this," my voice seemed to slur together and I soon realized I was more exhausted than I've ever been. Josh kissed my lips with the same passion he'd always had, letting his tongue massage mine for a few minutes before letting me go, moaning softly as he slid his hands underneath my shirt, touching my ribcage. Butterflies burst inside me as he pressed his body against mine. I couldn't help but let my eyes slip shut and my body fall underneath the covers completely, so Josh and I were in our own little cave underneath the thick quilts. A cocoon, where we would come out as something more beautiful, and more bonded than ever before.

It was finally morning, and my memory from last night was dazed and fuzzy. Josh was breathing steadily in front of me, and as I watched him I realized that- though much pain was involved in getting to that solution- I would marry him. I must've been crazy last night; Josh would never leave me. So how could I misconstrue the situation so badly? It was November, so I've been with Josh for nearly six months. Half a year...that has to be enough. To only be with Josh for half a year and then realize he's my soul mate, someone that I know I'm destined to be with forever. He has to be. I leaned in and touched his cheek, felt his breath on my lips, pressed my ear against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I observed how he was a natural human with all the necessities, but somehow he seemed like an angel. Perfection in its true form.
"Josh...," I whispered. He took in a deep breath and yawned, sitting up and stretching his arms out, silently getting out of bed and heading to my bathroom. I heard him run the water, brushing his teeth. I sighed and waited for him to return, I'd already brushed. I always do that before he gets up. He came back in the room, and for a moment we just looked into each other's eyes. Soon I stood and we held each other in a warm embrace for what seemed like an eternity.
"So...we're getting married," Josh whispered. I sighed and soon realized that I wasn't dreaming that part. I actually did propose.
"If you still want to," I told him. He pulled back to look at me.
"I took your virginity, I almost took your life...I'll do anything in my power to keep you happy," he kissed me the way he always has. It was just a simple, amazing, passionate, and loving kiss. A tear slipped from my cheek and I found myself crying again, this time with a wild burst of emotion. He murmured calm soothing sounds in my ear as he set me back down on the bed, rocking me back and forth. I noticed slightly how he was rubbing my back, probably hoping I would fall back asleep because he thought I was still delusional. I was getting tired, his antic was working.
"Josh...I'm crying because I'm happy...," I told him. He stopped rubbing.
"Oh...," he sighed and smiled at me. I smiled too and he hugged me again, letting me wipe my tears off on his shirt.
"I love you," I whispered, savoring the beautiful feeling of his heartbeat against my skin. His gentle citrus scent and, overall, the fact that this angel loved me as deeply, and as intimately as I loved him.
He took in a deep breath and I felt wetness on my cheek as he teared up as well, "Oh Dylan, I love you too, more than anything you can ever imagine," he told me, chuckling at how emotional we get towards each other. I laughed and I pulled the covers over us again like last night, and we faced each other, our bodies pressed together so tightly and so closely together that every breath we took; we shared. We shared a heartbeat, a pulse, a breath, and our hearts. For the first time in my life I felt complete, like I was actually right where I was supposed to be, and nothing in the entire world could change that now.