A Boy's Story

A new love

I've been meeting Josh at the park at 12:00 every morning for the past two weeks. And the butterflies have only gotten worse.

I think the first night I got home from the party was the worse though.

The first thing I saw was my mom passed out at the table. I cussed under my breath as I headed up to my room. I loved my mom, but she changed alot when my dad died. Starting with drinking. We went from big happy family around the christmas tree; to small broken family buying our own presents. And even though my mom loved us, she just didnt have the money to take care of us... thats why when my mom isnt getting drunk, shes out of town filming. She has to do acting to make enough money to take care of us. Even though it was cool at first, its starting to get annoying. Sometimes she'll be gone for two weeks at a time. Apparently when she is, she sends Cole letters and bills, and he takes care of that stuff. I offer to help, but he says he can handle it.

Sometimes when we're sitting around at home watching T.V., and my mom is gone on one of her three week long filming sessions, we'll see a preview of one of her upcoming movies. It was weird at first, seeing our mother on T.V. more than in real life... But at least we knew that she really was filming, and not just hanging out at bars and sleeping in vans everynight... or worse...

Right now I was on my way to meet Josh at the park, but as soon as a gay couple passed me... I almost turned back and left. I didnt want to be gay... but I felt as though I was on that path. I looked back at them. They were holding hands just like a normal couple would. But they looked... happy.

Okay, thats it. I cant fight this anymore, even if I tried, I wouldnt be able to help it. My feelings for him are just growing everytime I see him! I like Josh! I know he doesnt like me though. He's always so confident, and manly. Alwayst the leader. I shivered. And almost as if he knew that I was thinking about him, he was suddenly walking beside me.

"Where did you come from?!" I said, shocked that he found me so easily.

"I was down there," he pointed to a street across from the intersection we were crossing, "I was on my way to the park to meet you when I saw you over here," he smiled that smile that was starting to make me speechless everytime I saw it. His perfectly straight, white teeth were exposed, but it didnt reach his eyes. As I looked closer I noticed his eyes were red around the edges. He'd been crying.

"Wha-," but he interupted me.

"Watch it. That lights green," he said pointed to the traffic light.

"Right," I replied and backed away a couple feet from the speeding cars. I looked at the sky, it was light blue to my right with big fluffy clouds stretched along the horizon line. But to my left, the blue color started to shift into a delicate pink. As my eyes drifted from the sky, and along the horizon, a burst of light citrus filled my vision.

I let my eyes drift down to Josh. His skin glowed in the light, his eyes shining. But that reminded me that he had been crying.

I looked behind me and saw a fence with a thick bush of green leaves surrounding it. There was a hole in the middle of the fence. As I looked closer I realized it was familiar. I had sometimes cut through the bushes under the fence, because its a short cut to the park. It was when I was on my way to meet Josh, and I didnt want to be late.

I grabbed his hand and led him to the opening in the fence.

"What are you doing?" He asked. His voice was skratchy and it was obvious now that he'd cry'd long and hard.

"It's a short cut," I said as I bent down and shoved my head through the fence. I jumped forward and I stumbled under the bushes to the other side. I sat on my knees and waited for him. I couldnt see him because the bush was too thick. "Josh?" I called. But about a half a second later he jumped through really fast, his eyes closed, and landed right on me. I was flat on my back, and he was on top of me. I really hope he couldnt see me blushing. I quickly stood up (as much as I resented it) and backed away a couple of inches.