Running Scared

Chapter 25

When I woke up the next day something immediately felt off. Wrong. I didn’t know what it was but I had a feeling I had to get going soon. I showered and then immediately packed up all of my belongings.

The days ran together as one, each day almost identical to the one before. Finally, I was ready to go out the door. But the person on the other side of the door nearly gave me a heart attack.

“Huh, they were right.” His voice was so familiar, so warm and happy. He almost broke into a grin.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came here for you.”

“Eric, why would you come here?”

“Because you took off without any warning.”

“If I had given any warning then I wouldn’t have been able to leave.” It was true. Had I given them just a few more minutes, I would’ve never made it and that night James could’ve come for me.

“You shouldn’t have left. You don’t even know what happened to you after the accident.”

“I was fine. I could walk and everything. No reason to just mope around in bed, waiting for them to come after me.”

“I think you’re paranoid, Jess.”

“I’m not! I promise you they were there at my house that night. They probably know where I am now.”

"Can I come in?”

We still stood at the door, him outside me inside. I nodded and stepped aside. Right before I closed the door behind him I caught a glimpse of a green sedan. The person inside was staring straight ahead. Towards me. It gave me chills.

Eric made himself at home, one of his many talents, and propped his feet up on the bed, sitting on the only armchair.

“Nice… place.” His tone was unsure. I was unsure. It wasn’t nice by any means but I was quickly running low on cash.

“Um, thanks.”

And after a moment of silence, “So really, why are you here?”

He took a deep breath and sighed. “Jessica, we miss you. I do mean we.”

"I miss you guys, too.” I spoke only thinking of Mel Mom and Eric. “But I want you guys to understand that I’ll be back when I know this is all over.” If it will ever be over.

“You can’t keep running.”

“I haven’t been running that long. I stayed for a while and the time I was back they came back for me. I was where they knew I’d be.”

“You weren’t running then but I could tell you were running from how things used to be.”

“Some things don’t always stay the same.”

He pursed his lips and stared at me. “I know that. But you weren’t even trying.”

Anger welled up inside then tears in my eyes. “Not trying? Try being an outsider from everything you’ve ever known. Try coping with what I had to go through. Try being different from everyone because they know what you’ve been through! Try getting stares because they know!” Tears flowed freely now. “Try going through what I have! It’s hard to stay when you know that what’s haunting you is constantly around the corner!” I slumped down on the bed, looking down at the floor tears running down my cheeks.

Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe all of it came crashing on me at once. Maybe I had an epiphany of all the bad things that had happened since day one. Maybe I just needed to let it out.

“Jessica,” I heard his intake of breath, the air clumsily being sucked through his lips, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just – I mean – I shouldn’t have said that.”

I didn’t respond.

A pair of arms wrapped around me. “Come here. I didn’t mean that you weren’t trying. It came out.” He tried to patch up what had happened but I didn’t want it to.

If I let him make everything okay, or let him think it was, I wouldn’t be able to go somewhere else. Somewhere safe. I had to make a clean break even if it killed me.

“No.” I stood up and broke his embrace. My voice started to shake, wobbling across a thin rope over dangerous abyss. “What’s d-done is d-done. I k-know you mean w-well but you n-need to leave me b-be.” I backed up to the other side of the room. Each word felt like a little stab in my conscious. Each tear was the painful truth.

“I can’t let you just run away, Jessica.”

“I’m not r-running.”

“You are. You are running from everything and everyone! You need to face this! We can get them together!” His voice wrapped around the word together like a gentle caress.

“I-I can’t face them! I h-have tried! You can’t keep me from l-leaving.”

“I ca –”

I opened the door and gestured for him to go. “Eric, I w-want you to l-leave.”

His face fell. I saw hope shatter into a million little pieces in his eyes. “What?” It sounded like the air had been punched out of his lungs.

“I-I need you to leave.” I repeated it but I stared at his feet instead of his eyes.

All of the sudden his shock evaporated and it was replaced with anger. “You know what Jess? I came here to save you from yourself but you don’t want to be saved. So when you come back and realize everything, don’t come to me.” He slammed the door behind him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the door.

After Eric left I hurried to get back on the road. I left the hotel key in the drop box and immediately pulled out of the parking lot. I was on the road for an hour when my phone rang. A quick press on cruise control then a quick glance at caller ID. It was an unknown number. Too scared to answer, I left it for voicemail.

My phone binged, notifying me I had a voicemail. Curiosity killed the cat and my willpower. I clicked on it then speaker.

“Hello, Jessica. James here, love.” No. “How are you? I hope you’re doing well, you’ll need to be for my proposition. You see, love, you took off the other day from that hotel. We have been trying to find you ever since and well we’ve found you. Not knowing how to get you, our own miracle walked right up to your door, literally.” Eric. It was the only person that would have seen me since then.  “We have Lover Boy here and I’m sure you want him back.” A muffled profanities were flung in the background. “Anyways, we have him and if you want him back you’ll have to come get him. Call me back, love. He only has a few hours. Bye now!”

The phone went silent.

What I thought was a good plan, letting him leave, turned into him getting caught because of me. And it left me no choice.

And just like that I called him right back, speeding towards Eric.