Calm Envy [Ruki - The GazettE FanFiction]

18. Right From The Beginning

"Marry you?"

"Yes, marry me."

"What are you talking about? Do you not understand that you are disgracing one of the most important values in life? You just want to marry me because of guilt! You want to marry me so I'll think everything's alright! How long has it been since it happened? From the day you stopped calling right? Right?!" Rin felt like screaming. Each word came out more fierce, with more hatred and complaint. Complaint at how she was forgotten; how he treated so lowly of her; as if marrying him would change the fact that he could still cheat on her. "I am not marrying you; now please leave." Her voice was oddly stern as she pulled away from Ruki's hands that dropped lifelessly to his sides., nodding reluctantly.

"Is it over?" He asked, standing up on his shaky legs. Rin looked up at him, gulping uncomfortably as she nodded. It had to be done. Maybe in the end he wasn't the one for her. Maybe in the end she gave him too much credit for what he really deserved. Even if she was madly in love with Ruki, she couldn't deceive herself that this wasn't over; everything between them was over.

"Yes, yes it is." She finally said, momentarily gulping down her tears. But she knew that once Ruki closed the door behind him she would break down.

"Okay. Goodbye Usagi-chan. I-I love you." Ruki said before opening the door and stepping out. Then he closed it behind him with a soft click. Rin instantly fell on her knees, a sob finally breaking through her lips, her cheeks immediately stained from the salty drops that were filled with all the good memories she had lived with him. While Rin was crying her heart out, Ruki was still standing behind the door, his back against it as he slowly slid against the floor, tears escaping his own eyes. Bringing his knees up, the man rest his elbow against it and run a hand through his messy blond hair. This couldn't be happening.

Losing her forever was something he found himself never thinking of. But he indeed lost everything as soon as his lips touched another woman's. The sobs he heard from inside the house, broke his heart a little bit more than it already was so he stood up and with wobbly legs he went towards the pet shop, retrieving Koron and headed towards the airport, going back to the city they were about to have a show that night. Being as fucked up as he was, he suddenly realized that his fans would be disappointed with his appearance He wasn't in the mood to leave the green room or crack jokes with his friends, that were clueless on the situation Ruki was in.

"Oi Ruki-kun! Where have you been?" Reita asked excitedly, slinging an arm over his friend's shoulders. Shrugging Reita's arm off, Ruki plopped down on the small couch in the green room, while they were a few hours away from the show. Aoi and Uruha were on stage, strumming their guitars during soundcheck while Reita and Kai were lounging with Ruki, watching TV. "Ruki-kun, what happened?" Reita voiced his question again, but concern laced his words. His friend was a wreck, laying down on the couch with an arm over his eyes as he was about to fall asleep, or cry.

"I broke up with Rin."

"What?" Kai squeaked as he sat up straighter on his leather armchair. A look of pain crossed all three men as they thought about it a little bit more. "Is it because of what happened at the after party?" The elder asked, cocking his head to the side in curiosity.

"Yes, I called her. I told her everything and she hang up on me. Then I took the first plane back to find her. I went to our house but everything was locked up with a note saying that Koron was on a pet shop; I also found her phone smashed. She probably threw it against the wall. Then I went back to her own house begging for forgiveness. B-but she ended it; for good." Ruki explained, moaning in desperation.

"You fucked up big time." Uruha said once he entered the room with Aoi on his heels. A glare towards Aoi was all they needed to know that it was his influence that ruined their relationship. Or maybe dragged Ruki to his darkest lustful ways.