Blaze | Philkas

8

It was these moments that Philip loved, the ones that he longed for. Home alone and cuddling in bed with Lukas. He would like to consider Lukas as his boyfriend but he knew that the blonde would never go for that idea in a million years. So he settled for lazy Saturday mornings and pretending not to be in love. Philip would stare up at Lukas and try to decide what his favorite thing about the boy was, he could never pick of course but trying was the fun part. He wished they could stay like that forever, and he wished that a perfect life was more then just a fairy tale but sadly, he was brought back to real life with a ring of his phone. Bland, boring real life where Lukas was 'straight' and Philip was alone.

Lukas groaned and covered his ears to block out the ring tone as Philip reached over and pulled his phone off the charger. He pressed accept and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Philip said tiredly, he hadn't checked the caller ID so he didn't know who it was.
"Hi, Philip. It's your social worker, Karen. I have some news about your case." A sweet yet stressed voice came through the phone and Philip raised and eyebrow.
"Can it wait? I'm with someone." Lukas smiled at Philip and intertwined their fingers, rubbing his thumb over the back of Philips hand to calm him down.
"Sweetheart I get that you're busy but this is really important and you need to know for your own safety." The boys entire demeanor changed to an uncomfortable and tense state as he heard the last part of the sentence.
"What do you mean for my safety. Is he out? Are they not charging him?" Philip panicked and he could hear Karen sigh on the other side of the phone.
"I'm so sorry Philip, I tried so hard but since you wouldn't testify the jury thought you were lying. They found him not guilty. The evidence was lost. There was nothing to convict him off of." Philip felt the tears build up in his eyes, he didn't know what to say, he didn't have anything to say so he hung up the phone. The tears started dripping down his face and he turned to Lukas.

"They don't believe me." He whispered. Lukas got a look of concern and he moved himself closer to Philip.
"He isn't going to jail. He's getting away with it, he's free. He's fucking free and I have to sit around every damn night and not be able to fall asleep because of what he did and he gets to be free." Lukas pulled Philip into his chest and kissed his head.
"What's wrong, what happened?" The brunette boy started sobbing, gripping onto Lukas' shirt and tugging slightly.
"He's gonna come back Lukas, he isn't in trouble so he's gonna come back and it's gonna happen all over again and he still won't get in trouble." His breathing became uneven and he struggled to even talk.
"Philip, tell me what's wrong." Lukas' voice got stern and he grabbed Philip by the shoulders.
"I can't." The boy whispered, shaking his head and avoiding eye contact with Lukas.
"Fuck Philip." He shouted, grabbing the boy by his chin. Philip looked up at him with innocent eyes and opened his mouth to speak.

"It started when I was twelve, my mom met this guy and had been seeing him for a few months before he asked us to move in with him. I never had a dad so I was excited to finally have a male role model. I grew up with just my mom and I never got to meet my real dad. He left before I was born because he didn't want to raise a kid with a junkie like my mom. I used to sit in my room and just imagine what it would be like to have him around, I wondered if he even loved me. His name, my moms boyfriend, was Thomas Shaylar and at first he treated us nice and he was never mean. My mom had been clean for six months when she met him, hadn't touched a single drug because she wanted me to have a normal life. He started shooting her up with heroin so he could fuck me and get away with it while she was fucked up and couldn't do anything about it, she couldn't save me." Philip said the entire thing with no emotion in his face, never breaking eye contact with Lukas.
"Baby, I'm so sor-" Philip cut him off.
"I'm not finished yet if you'd let me continue." Lukas nodded and stopped talking.
"I remember the first time it happened so vividly. It's the only thing I'll never forget." He stopped and took a small breath.
"I told my mom everything after it happened and we left him but we went back to him because he had gotten my mom hooked on heroin. She would tell me every time they were gonna do it so I could leave the house and avoid him. He obviously caught on eventually and, the sick fucker, made a game out of how many times he could do it while my mom was either sober or asleep. I stopped fighting it after a full year of the shit. I started running away from home to avoid him last year, when I was fourteen because I just didn't want to be there and I was sick of being used like that. He started taking it out on my mom instead, he would hit her and rape her because I wasn't there for him to do it to me." He paused again, thinking of what to say next.
"Seven months ago I told the police. They arrested him, took my mom to rehab and put me in foster care. I've only told this story three times. To the police, to CPS and to you. Helen and Gabe took me in almost two months ago and they still don't know. I stole the tape that they recorded of me saying what happened and I stole the pictures they took of me after they took me away. I just got off the phone with my case worker, they aren't charging him for what he did, no restraining order, nothing. Meaning if he wanted me, he could find me and he could take me away. All because I wouldn't stand in a court and tell them what he did to me, as if the bruises weren't enough to prove it." Lukas looked shocked as Philip finished his story and he laid back down on the bed, pulling Philip with him and they laid there in silence for what seemed like hours but in reality was only a few minutes. 

"I'm so sorry, Philip." Philip hummed, ignoring Lukas and just curling himself into the boys chest. When soft snores started to fall from his lips, Lukas realized he loved him. He loved the way his eyes sparkled whenever he touched him, the way he ran his hands through his hair when he was nervous, the way he laughed, the way he managed to always look small and cute even though he was only a few inches shorter than Lukas. And in that moment right there, with Philip on his chest, he hated himself for it, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

That was when Lukas Changed.