Sadness Inside

Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

You wouldn't understand how a person would feel if they don't go through the same situation personally. You wouldn't know the exact feeling unless you feel it yourself. Never say you do when you haven't experienced it. It would only make the person feeling it, even worse.

Well, maybe at least, to me.

After my deep talk with Dad last night, Fred called and told me to get ready by 7 in the morning. I didn't know his plans because he wouldn't tell me.

"It's a surrpiseee!" he exclaimed excitedly.

His cheerful self never failed to annoy me.

When I woke up, it was 6.30 so I took a quick shower and played my guitar for awhile. By seven sharp, I heard the sound of keys and I knew Fred was here. My curls on my hair was still in place and my nails were still in beautiful sparkling pink. I was wearing a plain black tank top and a pair of jeans shorts. I put on my black and white converse all stars sneakers.

Fred saw me and smiled. It wasn't the satisfying smile he usually gave when I had fun. It wasn't the arrogant smile he gave before his football match. It was that weird smile he put on with that stare I couldn't quite understand because I had never seen it before.

"What's with that smile?" I finally asked.

He chuckled, "What smile? Uh, nothing," and he looked away. I knew that though. I knew that chuckling first then looking away act. It meant he was too embarrassed to answer or to say something.

Perks of knowing someone for more than 11 years.

"And don't think I don't know when you're hiding something either," I said.

And then he looked at me. I was sitting down on the couch, after tightening my shoe laces, being stared by Fred. It was that stare again, and I was all in curiosity to know what it meant. His blue shimmering eyes reflected on everything. They hide the pit of emotions of what he really felt. His gaze bores through my soul at that very moment, penetrating my deepest darkest feelings. I could feel it inside me that he somehow knew what I was trying to do. He knew I was afraid. His eyes suddenly set a cold feeling to the room, making it seem like it dropped a few degrees. I shivered and he looked away suddenly frowning.

Stop making mistakes, Myra! He's waiting for you.

"Uh," I broke the silence and stood up. I walked to him, "So... ready?"

He gave me an assuring smile but not that comforting because it didn't seem convincing. He was being his enthusiastic self and over exaggerated everything he said.

I listened with all my heart to him during breakfast at the cafe which made my favourite pancakes, explaining about his drama competition coming up in two weeks. He seemed pretty excited and he asked me to follow him. I contemplated. Should I? I did tell myself to back away. But Fred needed my support... I should but would I?

Hesitantly, I said yes.

"So, I asked you to get ready by 7 is because I need to discuss with you some itinerary before we leave to LA," Fred grinned at me as I look at him in disbelief.

LA? LOS ANGELES? Isn't that where....

ISN'T THAT WHERE...

John stays...

John Williams, my brother.

I panicked and started to stutter, "Uh... w-why?"

Fred chuckled, "Don't you want to go on a holiday?"