Innocence

Chapter 2

"We honor this man's courage, his talent, and his being itself. God bless Stan Honorary, man of honor." Jeff Herffrey had solemnly spoken his speech about my father. Everyone in the funeral home's room clapped. I groaned, my tears returning. The past two months had been horrible, crappy ass months. And, my mother wasn't the only one who changed. She took up the art of painting, and is actually pretty damn good at it. Anyways, she's not the only one who's changed. Just last week I decided to dye my hair. Now a beautiful black. I even cut it a bit, but only by a couple of inches. It's now right above my breasts. I was happy with my new appearance. People might call it gothic, but I call it sexy and new. Another speech ended. We all clapped, but you could tell everyone was tired of all the talking. One last speech, and I could go see my father in his newly made coffin. I choked on my tears, and excused myself to the bathroom.

I whipped all the tears off of my face, and studied myself in the mirror. I rubbed mynewly pierced lips. My ears have been pierced for three months now and my mother agreed to letting me get a pair of snakebites. It wasn't even slightly painful, and they looked pretty good. Claps sounded from the room beside me, so I decided it was time to go see my father. I walked out, and saw a little line up of people, in front k the coffin. I placed myself at the back of the line. The person in front of me turned around and smiled, extending their hand for me to shake. We shook. "Hello, my name is Mariah," She told me. She looked about my age. She had red hair, with blue streaks an black layers. She had a snakebite, a spider it's, and a eye piercing. She had a small nose stud. Her eyes were full of black makeup, smokey eyed job well done. She was wearing a black formal dress, but it seemed like it would be something she wore everyday. To be honest, I found her look unique, and she was beautiful. I smiled an greeted her back.

"I love your dress," I told her. She giggled, a cute giggle. "Ha, thank you. My mother helped me chose it. I know, sounds lame. But she's cool, not like other mothers! " she said joking around. I laughed to. "Ha, my mom is pretty cool herself as well." I answered. We talked until it was her turn. "Hey, I know he's your father and my apologies about this accident. But, you can go in front of me if you'd like. Because honestly I don't really know him." She offered to let me go ahead. I nodded and smiled. "Thanks," I said while brushing past her. I walked up the two small steps to the coffin and looked at my father. He looked so delicate, like something you could just snap. Tears filled my eyes, and even shutting them tightly didn't offer any help whatsoever. I sniffled like my mother had on the phone that night, when she calle to tell me about my fathers death. I bent my head down, a year hitting my fathers hand that was placed over his chest. A gurgle left my lips, and I stood there for what seemed like a hour. How was it possible for me to love this man do much? Is it because he raised me, have me chances to go places and see things and even do things I always wanted to do? Was it because he became my role model, a super hero to me? Or, because he was my father. He lived me as seed about me and never let me cry when something traumatizing happened. I realized something, and sucked my tears back into my head. He doesn't like when I cry. Never liked swing me in misery or pain. I whipped my face and toyed with my fingers. I smiled, and glanced at his face. He looked so peaceful, so... Happy. Someone poked my shoulder. "My mother wants to give him a speech, do you mind? You can go back after, but we hve to leave soon." Came Mariah's voice. I nodded and stepped away from the coffin, a beautiful tall blonde stepping up. She looked nothing like Mariah. We nodded to each other as she passed me, but nothing more. Mariah followed me to my seat. "I understand your loss." She whispered to me. I looked up at her soft blue eyes. "What do you mean?" I said probably sounding grumpy. "Ive lost someone too, actually." She spoke. I let a gentle expression hit my face."Im sorry," I said suddenly feeling the need to apologize. She looked ather shoes. "Well, it's ok. It happened two years ago. And, he was young." She replied. "Your father?" I asked calmly. She shook her head. "No, " She retorted as we went silent. We sat there. "My little brother." She finally answered. I looked up at her, and saw her smile. "I did it." She said laughing. I frowned. "What the fuck?" I said pissed off. She stopped laughing. "I did it."

"I killed my brother." Were the four words I heard before I ran out of there.