Way Wedding

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I took a look around the modest home I had created for my family and I, as I walked around gathering laundry. With Jamia working full time I wanted to take the time to do some extra housework just to make things easier on her. Lord knew she would need some kind of help when I left no matter how much of a wonder woman she way there was no way she could work, take care of three kids, and keep the house in any working order.

That was one thing I was particularly good at being a stay at home dad. When the band hand broken up I was terrifed that I would be a bad father or not even know how to be a father especially without anything to distract myself but instead found that it was incredibly possible for me to juggle not only writing my new album but reorgainze the house and put everything on a schdduel. It had been a hoot to see Jamia's face when when she came home from work one day to my guitar sat up in a clean basket of laundry while I stirred pasta on the stove. 

"Daddy, my tummy is flat." Miles called from his playroom pathetically like we didn't feed the kid.

I couldnt help but laugh, "Well kiddo that could be a problem, why don't you put away your toys and come get something to eat." I said as I tossed a load of laundry into the washer and pulled out a jar of almond butter and some bread. I was thankful to have Miles around during this last but of time at home. He was like me, a little man of few words and he didn't ask questions. Lily and Cherry were more like their mother, or just women in general and always wanted to know what you were thinking and were little endless canons of questions.

My phone's ring echoed through the kitchen as I pulled the dinosaur cookie cutter up off of the sandwich and began snacking on the outter corners. Letting a smile creep across my face like I was a teenager texting my crush I flipped it over praying it was Gerard. He had been so busy getting his bags together for out time on the bus and dealing with his volatile almost exwife that regardless of her outburst was holding a divorce hostage; We hadn't spoken much the past few days except for right before bed. I couldnt wait to be able to kiss his lips and sleep in his arms, the next 4 days were going to fly by in the most terrible and wonderful ways. Because in truth I wasnt the selfish twenty somthing year old that had been able to just dwell on the kisses and touches of my lover. I was so much more now, I was a father now and to my kids touring was still a source of anxiety for them, and truthfully at this point in my life I wasn't looking for Gerard to be merely my lover. More than anything I wanted a future with him. I wanted romance, public romance, a ring back on my finger I wanted a forever not just now laced in orgasms and terrified promises. Thinking about his note that he had given me at the wedding I tried to reassure myself that he must want the same.

"Mine?" Miles asked pointing at the lunch sitting just above his arms reach on the counter, pulling me out of my daze. With a smiling nod I handed it down to him and ruffled his hair. He was a mini me and there was no doubting it. While scampered to his seat and began eating I took the moment to finally look at my text.

G: Good morning baby boy, I'm packing up my last little bit of art supplies for our trip today and boarding my flight tonight after I eat dinner with Bandit. Call me when you call.
Love G xoxo

Shaking my head as I replied quickly and laid my phone down to sit with Miles and munch on the edges of his dinosaur sandwich. It didn't technically constitute as a meal but it was something in my stomach. Often times I hated to even eat anything because of my IBS. Drifting back into a day dream I remembered the way Gerard had always packed too much for tour and often had to use half of my storage space. All of his jackets, art supplies, and reading material; not to mention the shit he always picked up on the way. It has been so weird to have all of my storage space available to me when I first toured with the celebration. This tour would be so blissfully different and I couldn't think of a single reason in the world to change it.

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With a content child napping and a good hour before anyone could join my home I curled up in my black suede recliner with a blanket and called Gee.

"Well hello there." He chucked. Replying wittily and settling back closing my eyes to bask in his voice, we talked about all the places he wanted to stop at during tour.

That has always been his cutest trait, how excited he got to see landmarks while we traveled the country.

"Gee, honey may I ask how many bags you packed for the tour?" I asked cautiously only to be returned with silence. Internally rolling my eyes I asked again. Without an answer I decided to ask sassily.

"Gerard Arthur Way, tell me now or I'm gonna spank you." I said confidently hoping that would make him want to respond.

With a gasp and a chuckle I heard him take a breath preparing to respond to me. "Frank Anthony Iero, I brought enough not too much. Also I realize I let you have the upper hand after my brother's wedding but I highly doubt with time and age you've forgotten which one of us is daddy. Hmm prince?"

Caught of guard and slinking into a submissive smile I nervously chuckled. We had switched back and forth once upon a time and I had definitely  taken advantage at Mikey's wedding he wasn't wrong. However I had missed the way he dominated me, the way I was allowed to just forget and survive on his touch and love. In general Gerard was a pussy, wouldn't make a first move to save his life but once he knew you wanted him he always went from 0-100 real fast and could leave you panting with those hands.

"Did you hear me honey?" He asked with a small pitch of nervousness as if I could ever outgrow the central part of me that reverted to childish things and always needed someone to take care me.

Whispering "No sir" a satisfied groan echoed in my ear as we dropped the explicit conversation. It wasn't that we didn't want each other but there was only so much words over a phone and our own hands could do and after trying time and time again between tour we knew better. Regardless of such knowledge I wasn't going to lie I was sporting a sizable tent in my sweats and I was almost sure he was trying to burst out of his jeans.

We talked for another half hour laughing and smiling making the anxiety that just came with everyday living as me bubble away. It was truly amazing how much love could be your own Xanax sometimes. Reminding myself to throw that in my bags I continued to listen to him about the fact that Bandit wanted to get a puppy and how Lynz wouldn't let her and was trying to blame him. Angered by her existence alone I inherited some of his own anger as well and began cursing in a slur of intangible words about how literally fucked up that was.

"Take a breath, sugar." He chuckled the edge in his voice almost gone. He had always found my outbursts way too amusing. Always finding it incredibly amusing and baffling how one very small grown man could still be so incredibly angsty.

"I'm sorry, it just makes me mad that she's such a cunt." I said narrowing my eyes like an annoyed child and crossing my free arm over the one holding the phone to my ear pouting.

"I know, but it'll be okay. She can't be mad forever, and I can't blame her for being mad. I'd be pretty mad if the tables were turned." He replied trying to calm my temper.

"But there's a difference she'd be fucking someone that she didn't love." I hugged tossing myself up onto my feet and pacing around the living room as he continued to attempt to calm me down to a half triumph.

By the time we got off the phone I was only half as mad and blatantly starving. So I started to cook to calm the rest of my nerves and awaited the return of Jamia and the twins. Besides the kids I would miss cooking. It was one of the thing besides guitar that my grandfather had taught me.

Running my hand over my left upper arm where my tattoo of him dwelled I sighed.
"I pray you're proud of me nonna. I know I'm not the man you intended but everything off course is executed to my fullest extent of passion" I ignored the fact that I wasn't religious and genuinely held onto my words. My greatest downfalls would always be the worries I wasn't pleasing him.