The Monster (My Best Friend Eminem, My Husband Marshall Mathers)

Chapter forty-five

Chapter forty-five

Hey, sorry I'm posting so late, lost track of the dates I techology did not finish the last chapter and I will do either tonight or sometime this week! (we are close to the final of the story, but there is more to come!) 

               “Any urges lately?” I asked Marshall. He held his hands in his pocket, his large black winter coat along with his skull cap.

“No, not really…” he muttered. I was going home today. I placed my winter boots on and pulled my greasy hair back into a bun. Marshall and I have found a place where he can go in peace, for six weeks to a month he will be at the facility. It will be hard without him.

               I stood in front of him, his eyes drooping and his head was down. Placing my hands into his, “I’m losing, Talia” he said, sniffling.

“No, you are not…” I whispered. I gave him a huge, wrapping my arms around his large jacket. He grasped me tightly.

“I don’t want to do this by myself…” he whispered.

Seeing how truly Marshall was afraid with this monster, made me feel terrible for him, I felt so guilty about not going to him about his obvious struggle. All those times he didn’t seem himself was the time he was fighting. I admire his strength and his courage.

               I place a kiss on his neck, feeling him sink into my arms. The car ride home was quite, not much was said. The kids were at school and I was to continue to work from home. The frist thing I did was jump into the shower. I could’ve built a house with the dead hair strands. And birds could’ve used the hair from my legs and underarms to build a nest. I must’ve stood in the shower for an hour just washing my body.

               I tied my damp hair back and threw on some clean clothes. The house was depressingly quite. It will take me some time to adjust to it, when I’m use to noise around this time of day. Marshall sat in the kitchen holding a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Honey you want to go lay down?” I asked.

He stood up and walk over to me, “No” he said giving me a kiss. Lightning struck my lips, sending sharp but thrilling shocks inside of me.

               Marshall pulled away smiling then kissed me again. I smiled back feeling the lightning strike again ten times sharp and painful. It caused me to lose my breath. Marshall sighed sharply kissing me harder and deeper, not pulling away this time. My arms rested on his shoulders. I felt a sudden arrousement coming from me. He pulled my body close to his, crushing my chest to his.

               Our mouths danced together, opening up to one another. Marshall scooped me up into his arms and took me downstairs. The world could not reach us down there. The room is hardly ever used and cell phone signal is weak. He placed me on the fluffy, plush couch and got on top of me. He placed his lips onto mine, opening his shirt and mine. His warm body against mine, made it intense for me to do anything.

               Not parting our lips as we removed the last bits of our clothes. My fingers traveled down his spine, feeling the goosebumps appear on his arms. The room began to get hot and humid, mixed in with the left over cold air. My body was completely relaxed as he kissed every part of it. Out of breath, and shaking some time,

“I love you…” he said. I smiled, placing a kiss on his trembling lips,

“I love you…” Laying on top of my body, his ear to my heart, feeling the tingling sensation travel up and down my body.

--

               I couldn’t wait to eat dinner with my family again. We all sat in the same seats. Marshall next to Ronnie and Laney on his left, Hailie on my right and Whitney on my left, next to Laney. It was great being home, without a worry in the world. Marshall sat quietly as the kids carried on a conversation with each other. I knew what was bothering him, and I understood. He struggled eating his food. I sat feeling completely sorry for him, knowing he couldn’t listen to his children’s conversation.

               He picked around with his food, finally placing his napkin on his plate. “Daddy…could we play chess again later?” Ronnie asked.

Marshall looked at Ronnie with a sad face, causing Ronnie to frown “I’m sorry little man, I’m not feeling up to it” he said. Ronnie didn’t seem disappointed. He was questionable about his father’s behavior. The children became quite when they heard their father’s tone. The conversation was ended right there. Marshall excused himself from the table and walked upstairs.

               “Mom, what is wrong with daddy?” asked Ronnie. Their eyes were on me. I couldn’t explain to them what was wrong with Marshall expect,

“Daddy…has a lot on his mind right now…”

“He is using again isn’t he?” Laney blurted out, a little aggressive.

It was out now, but it was not true, “No, no, honey…um he just has a lot to take care of…old demons” I said.

“He’s using again” Laney said, disappointed.

I dropped my fork to my plate; her tone set me off, “He is not, Laney!” Hailie shouted.

“You know it too!” Laney said back. The girls started to agrue back and forth, including Whitney.

               Ronnie started to cry asking them to stop yelling. The loud voices reminded me of my parents. The high pitch voices rising ontop of one another, was too much. I cuffed my hands over my ears, ready to scream to ask them to stop as well. I realized then, it was all in my head. I was the parent now, and now I can ask them to stop and they will stop when I tell them too.

“Alright! Shut up!” I shouted, slamming my hands on the table, causing it to vibrate traveling to my arms.

               The girls sat back into their seats, steadily, afraid to say anything else. Ronnie whimpered slightly, hiding his face in his hands. They expected me to say something but I did not know what to say, sighing to cool my temper, I softly said,

“Daddy, is not on drugs…but he is struggling with demons…” I said.

“So the tabloids are not true?” Whitney questioned innocently.

I smiled, knowing the real truth, “No, honey.” “But daddy does have a problem, and he needs our help…we are a family and we stick together no matter what” I said.

--

               Once dinner was done and cleaned, it worried me that I haven’t heard from Marshall in a while. The kids did not understand his situation but they understood he needed some help. After washing dishes, I went upstairs to change into my PJs. Walking into the room, I found Marshall laying on his side, his right leg bent a little and his arm under his head. Hailie laid next to him, curled under him slightly.

               She whimpered slightly, gripping his hand tightly. It scared me. “Hailie…” I whispered slightly. Realizing my voice went away and she could not hear me, “Hailie…” I said normally.

Hailie looked up, wiping her eyes; mascara blackened and smeared her face.

“What is wrong?” I asked.

“What if daddy does not make it?” she asked. It was an odd question.

               I was wakened by Marshall’s whimpering. It was all a dream; it was my worries going into my dreams. I looked over at Marshall his body was covered in sweat and he had a nasty chill to him. His body was cold as ice.

“Marshall…Marshall” I said frantically. He did not response. He shivered, curling his legs to his chest, and his hands under his arms.

“Marshall…” I said jumping out of bed, running to the phone to call 9 11.