British Guys Aren't Cute

British Guys Aren't Cute - Chapter Five

'There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do,'

Douglas Adams, 'So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish'

Chapter Five

Post 560: 

When a guy walks up to you in a club, and starts telling you knock knock jokes as pick up lines — that's the moment you run far, far away from any guy with an accent that resembles anything British. Knock knock jokes will never be acceptable pick up lines. Only children under the age of 5 who have a lack of knowledge to what humour is are allowed to tell knock knock jokes — nobody else!

"Hello?" a voice rang down the phone.

"Hello... Nora?" the caller questioned. 

"Maybe... depends who's calling?" the voice on the other end answered, getting very confused to who the hell Nora was.

"Em... Dan, Daniel Harris..." Dan replied, clearing his voice.

"Well, Dan... this is Candy... but I can be Nora, if you want," The voice replied, trying to sounds all sexy. 

"So you're telling me, that this is not Nora?"

"I said I can be... if you want.. for a price of course..." The voice replied. Anger began to take over his body. She had given him a fake number — in fact, she had given him a number to a sex line! Dan ended the call without another word and turned back to the bar. His brother came back from the toilets, and sat next to Dan. 

"What's up with you?" Milo asked, immediately sensing that his brother was angry.

"It's nothing!" Dan answered before calling over the bartender and ordering a glass of Jack Daniels.

"You only drink Jack when there's something wrong!" Milo argued, trying to figure out what was going on with his brother. His dilemma with Nora popped up in his mind, he had talked to her for a grand total of three minutes, but she was permanently in-printed in his mind. 

"It's fine — just forget about it!" Dan snapped at Milo. Dan had never handled his anger well.

Milo was just about to answer him when he was interrupted by cheering from a crowd of drunk men who were watching the football. Milo looked away for a second to look at the men, before looking back only to find his brother gone. His empty glass was the only sign that somebody was sat there. Milo looked around the bar, but Dan had left. He let out a groan and quickly finished off his drink.

"Excuse me... are you Prince-" A girl said appearing to Milo's left. She was dressed to kill in a black dress which made her boobs seem like they were about to pop out the top of her dress. Milo cut her off quickly, realising that he had been recognised.

"No sorry — wrong guy," He quickly said before standing up from the bar and taking one final look around the bar for Dan. 

"But you look exactly like him," the girl replied, now lightly taking hold of his arm. Milo had thought she had left but she obviously was hell bent on picking up the prince. 

"Sorry, you have the wrong guy," He replied quickly, brushing off the girls arm and walking straight out of the bar and into the warm sunlight. 

He walked up the street for a few minutes, before remembering to put on his sunglasses to hide his eyes. His bright blue eyes were the big give away that he was the prince, if they couldn't see his eyes, people would know that he looked familiar but wouldn't guess that he was the prince.