still alive

eavesdropping

“Sure, where and when will we meet?” I asked. There was silence on the other side with the night sky not helping at all. It got so quiet til the point where I could hear the breeze that passes near the trees and my own breathing as equal volume.

“Hello?” I asked after a brief moment of the awkward silence that became dense all of the sudden. 

“Who are you talking to at this night of hour?” a male voice asked on the receiver, curiosity took over me and I decided to listen quietly.
She was surprised by his voice and didn’t really hide it when she asked

“Ryan how many times have I told you not to creep on people like that?” From the mention of Ryan guilt washed over me but I nevertheless stayed as quiet as a mouse.

“I didn’t creep on you Mia, in fact I never you are just easily sacred and you can’t blame me for that. If this is your way of avoiding me question, I already know you too well, now spill it.” He said a lot mature than the last time I remembered him talking. 

After getting out of hospital because of the incident, my father planned to move houses and so I moved schools. I have never had the chance to apologise to Ryan or thank his father, and I just felt really bad until today it’s haunting me.

“You almost gave me a heart attack!” Mia yelled at Ryan but not in an angry tone

“Ohh and I failed.” he pretended to sound sorry and teasingly about it. After not getting a response from her he asked impatiently, “Are you going to tell me who you are talking to, or do I have to ask her or him myself although I hope it’s not a he?”

I’m a ‘her’ thank you very much, I wanted to snap but realized they think I’m not there or can’t hear them. I was not the kind to eavesdrop others, but right then I couldn’t help it.

“Fine but when I tell you, you leave me alone to sleep.” Mia said

“Hahaha that is if you sleep after I
leave besides I can’t promise you anything now.” He said finding whatever he was saying humours but I just rolled my eyes because I was CLEARLY wrong about him having matured.

“Ha-ha very funny, we are making a deal here. You leave me alone and I tell you who I’m talking to, deal?” She said with annoyance in her voice.

“Deal”, he had said and the next thing I heard was clapping hands. I presume he is either just clapping his hands or making a deal handshake with Mia.

“You messed up the handshake again, when will you get it?” Mia asked while giggling. You talk a lot for a person who I just woke up I thought.

“Good question Mia; I’ll get this handshake when you become my girlfriend.”  He said and her giggling increased. Hearing this was like being shot in the heart, that’s when realization hit me hard. I still had feeling for Ryan and the pain of hearing him ask Mia out was unbearable.

I had convinced myself all these years that it was a silly year 7 crush, and the only reason I longed to see him was because I needed to apologise. Little did I know that, that wasn’t the reason to long for him, it was about 10% of the reason and the other 90% was because my feelings for him hadn’t really changed?

“Don’t worry we have exactly 3 months until I say yes, just wait it’ll be worth it.” Mia’s voice snapped me out of my realization.

“Say whatever you want, it won’t change my mind. stop being a baby for once and act your age.”

“I’ll stop if I become your baby.” He teased her, rolling my eyes as to how cute it was. I couldn’t help it but get jealous of her. What does he see in her?

Ignoring him she said, “hello?” to me to check if i was still there.

“I’m here…” I said feeling nervous and bad that I just heard everything they were talking about and it hurt me. What other pain will be caused to me today?

“Glad, I would like you to meet Ryan my almost boyfriend.” She happily introduced Ryan even though I already know who he was I didn’t dare say a single word.

“Hi Ryan?” I asked unsure of what I was saying. I’m really talking to Ryan awe!! His voice broke the moment and I came back to reality that he will never be mine.

“Sup not to judge you or anything but let this be your last time to eavesdrop me and my girlfriend-“

“Almost girlfriend.” Mia cut him as well as fixing his mistake. What does she have that I don’t?? Why did you pick her out of every possible girl?

“Sorry Ryan she called me first and I was uh”. I was crying because the memory of when my mother left me came haunting me, my aunt died today and left me. I couldn’t answer because I was crying my eyes out and couldn’t find the strength to even stand up. “Well I was busy; when I came back I found 3 miss calls and a voice message. I didn’t mean to call like it; I know I should have waited till tomorrow sorry.”

Why are you apologising when you didn’t do anything wrong, and since when are you nice to him? He just broke your heart, if it’s your way of getting him to want you, sorry sister but that will never happen.

I just hated how my thoughts were right, what am I thinking I didn’t have a chance, not with him now that he is in love.

“Ryan don’t be rude and Vicky you shouldn’t apologise he was just kidding.” Mia cut me off my thoughts

“Wait this is Vicky Ethan you are talking to? The black girl who lost both her parents a few years back?” He asked with a surprised tone that he didn’t try to hide. I’ve been found, what is this feeling? I should be happy that he knows but why do I feel the opposite? Please Mia save me and don’t ask any more questions, do anything to distract him. I give you permission to kiss him or anything just help I mentally prayed

“Yes and yes the only Vicky, how do you know all these things about her?”