still alive

whats going on?

I've always missed the times when I didn't care about what people thought about me, the times I could get all the love I deserve, the time when I didn't know from right and wrong. The world has always been a peaceful place to me then, until............

Those old days are gone, I now know difference from right and wrong, I don't experience the love I used to have, I stress so much about what people think about me. I'm all grown up; when I was younger I was always excited about growing up and about becoming a teenage. Now I regret those feelings, if I hadn't wish to grow up I would still be having the love I deserved and wasted.

Tomorrow is finally the last day until the long holiday start, I thought to myself while waiting for the bus at the bus station. My phone vibrate in my school skirt, my hand made it way to my phone in my pocket, while something caught my eye from a distance.

Note: if there is a picture and I don't say anything, look at the whole photo. If I do say something which is mainly the expression you look at what I point out. In this photo focus on the facial expression forget the rest of stuff. Usually its hard to describe facial expression because I'm too used to reading comics.

What are they doing? Geez they have a life to waste why would anyone kissing in public? I wonder if the guy is using her or if she is using him... I thought while typing my screen lock password to unlock my Samsung note 5.

I didn't even want to think if the guy and girl they were actually in L.O.V.E there is no such thing as true love, if they were I think I would still feel the love I felt 12 years ago. I've learnt this world is a puzzle no one truly understand how to fit the pieces

"Hello Vic do you want to meet up during the holiday I'm SO EXCITED!! To see you it's been 5 whole years, you must be all grown up what do you say we meet in Maryland animal park?"

It was strangely odd for my aunt to message me, I don't remember ever giving her my number and I certainly don't remember her ever thinking about meeting me. It's been 5 whole years after all, what's the sudden to meet me or even message me?

"Hey u havnt changed at all plz don't call me 'Vic', u noe I dun like it and u noe how angry it makes me. Btw I will think bout it."

Just when I was about to press send, someone came running in my direction and bump into me, my phone went flying. As it got to the ground I swear the world stopped moving, no it wasn't my head, everything stopped, no sound, no light, just darkness. If you think I'm exaggerating your wrong, just imagine, you are just on your phone, and the next thing you know the world is disappearing in front of your eyes. Now add the empty world with a really ugly smell, by ugly I mean worse than skink, worse than a mould food or vomit.

Where am I? I thought, and what am I doing here? What is this place?

Is this hell or heaven? Am I really dead? I started to wonder while studying the place, someone was looking at me from the door (I think it's a door) almost afraid of me. I quickly erase that stupid I thought, I mean who in the right mind thinks about being in heaven or hell? That 'someone' was still staring at me as I was trying to make sense in my mind. I think it was a she but 'she' couldn't stop staring I'm starting to find it creepy would she ever move from the door?

"Mum she is awake," said the little girl

"Honey can you tell here to stop being lazy and get out if bed." the mother replied. She sounds just like my mother...

Now my mind is really going crazy, it's not every day you get a text from your aunt after not seeing you for 5 years, they ask to meet you. And it's certainly not every day you get bumped by a STRANGER and the world stop I mean literally STOPS! Who in a world would ever hear their parent's voice after not being with you for 4 years? I mean not being with you I mean it like seriously NOT BEING WITH YOU! You may think once again I'm exaggerating but— my mother died 4 years ago, and a year after dad followed her.

I could tell I was spacing myself again because the 'girl' was giving me the look that my mother always say people give me because I'm spacing myself, I mean how crazy could this day get.

"Umm dinner is ready and stop to being lazy sister v...v...Vicky". The little 'girl 'said. Still hiding her body so I couldn't tell if it was a girl or boy, I could only see half of her face and one of her hand. Did she just call me sister and I'm not lazy? I always thought I was the only child in my family, if I was going crazy before, what can I call myself now? Insane?

pull yourself together Vicky just be nice.

"I umm do you mind telling me your name?" I asked

It was not a rude question, nothing about my question seem rude, I know I didn't give the little 'girl' the 'death' stare, I tried to avoid staring at her. But the way she looked at me made me seem that I forgot something important like I was rude. What is 'her' problem I'm starting to dislike this kid.

"Umm I'm Rachel your big sister don't you remember me next time I'll remember to not play outside with you too much when mum is away" she said laughing as if it's funny. Rachel come to where I laying showing her whole body and face so I could see her, maybe she thought I could remember her that's why she came up close. What was so funny I it was just a question like any other?