Sex & Sentiments Part Two// Ashton Irwin

Gates & Good-Byes

I lie awake with Ashton, nothing but the sounds of rain against his bedroom window dill his room. It had been a nice party-- what we had seen of it anyway, mostly our little group stayed hidden away in Ashton's room.

"Tell me to stay," Ashton says for about the hundredth time, lacing our fingers together.

"You know I'm not going to do that Ashton.."

"I know," he breathes out over the back of my neck, "I just thought if I asked you enough, you'd eventually cave."

"Do you want to stay?" I ask.

He pauses for a long time.

"Honestly.. I'm terrified to leave.." he finally says, "But.. I'm even more terrified not to try."

I turn around so I can face him. I place my hand on the side of his face comfortingly.

"I love you Ashton Irwin."

I see him smile, "I love you too."

"Hey," he says after a moment, "can you do something for me?"

"Well that depends.." I say.

"Will you come to the airport with us?"

I take a second to think. Could I handle that? Could I handle watching the potential love of my life take off for good?

He watches me intently.. For him, I could do anything.

"Of course I will."

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It was Saturday. The boys were busy packing. We should've already said our good-byes. That's what Friday was for. Why did I insist on pro-longing this? Why did I agree to say good-bye at the airport.

"Emily.." I say, watching as she flips through an old photo album on my desk, "how do I do this? How am I supposed to do this?"

She looks up from the photo album confused. My outburst had come from nowhere. I was trying not to burden anyone with my thoughts-- but I couldn't hold them in any longer. I dropped to the ground, and found it hard to breathe.

Emily was by my side in seconds.

"Breathe," she says, patting my back for comfort.

"How do I do this?" I manage to say, catching my breath, "please tell me.."

She looks me in the eyes, "It's going to be hard," she tells me, "really hard.. but, even though we have to let them go, they're always going to be such a big part of our lives.. no matter what."

I grab her hand with mine and squeeze it.

"Calum and I broke up." She says, and my heart sinks for her.

"I'm so sorry..." I tell her, finally gaining some composure.

"Thanks," she says, "we decided it was for the best.. We love each other, but we also don't want to hold each other back.. everything happens for a reason. I have to believe that. Besides, I have some pretty awesome people to help me through it."

I smile at her. She was right, as usual.

I could tell Ashton to stay if I really wanted to.. and the thing is, he probably would.. but I would be holding him back. I would be stopping him from reaching his dreams.. and I would never forgive myself for that.

Everything happens for a reason. I guess I have to believe that too.

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"Indie, chill out," Lana says, as I attempt to power-walk in front of her and Emily, "we have time!" she calls after me.