Suffering

Chapter 32.) The Note

               Hey guys, sorry i didn't update Wednesday, i was grounded.

    

      " Justin!" I screamed running out of my mom's grip too Justin's body that lays there without moving one muscle. I fell to his side, the whole world seemed to be spinning around me. I could barely see threw my tears, i sniffed grabbing Justin's hand. " I love you." I couldn't even tell if he was alive or dead. " Lina .." Justin started. He was talking, he was alive. I quickly moved my hair that fell in front of my face whipping my tears away. " I was wrong.." Justin held my hand tightly, but not as tight as he usually does.

" I thought Lina, that, that ..." Justin started to drift away from me. " Justin! stop, stay strong baby." I kissed his forehead. Justin's eyes slowly opened again looking into my eyes, " We were going to live.." Justin slowly blinked, He lifted his other hand and put it on the top of my head. " together, forever. But.. I'm wrong."

" shh, Justin. You're going to live. You're strong!" I said while lifting his other hand that i was holding to my lips slowly i kissed his hand. " I'm weak, I'm weak without you." He was silent for a minutes all i heard was gasps and sighs of relief that Justin could be gone in the matter of seconds. " Get married Lina, have kids. Because i want you too, I'll love you ... forever." Justin closed his eyes. I no longer felt the soft breathing, no air was coming out of his mouth or nose. I was screaming inside, i was shaking, crying. Justin can't be gone he can't. " Justin! Wake Up!" i screamed pushing his body around. " Wake up!" i screamed over and over again. He's just sleeping Lina, i kept telling myself. But he's not. " wake up.." i said threw my crying and shaking lips. " please." I was hoping that a  something magical will happen and he'll be awake. I didn't get to say i love you back.

He died in my arms, like he wanted too. I gently put my hand over his non beating heart. " I love you Justin." The fact that, he'll no longer be with me. Tell me he loves me, he'll no longer kiss me, he'll no longer hug me, he'll no longer smile at me, he won't make me smile. We're in the horror movie. Who's going to protect me when i want to kill myself again? At this point all i want to do is kill myself be with him again.

I looked at his beautiful face, he was dirty, cut up. His eyes no longer shinned in the sunlight. I bent down and kissed his soft lips that were ice cold and started crying at the felt of it. they'll no longer be heat coming out of his body. " No, no..." i said slowly at my thoughts. My hot tears started falling from my eyes. Justin's hand that was on my head was getting heavy, and cold. 

" Come on sweetheart." My mom came over to me and tried to lift me up. I stood up tears pouring from my eyes. I saw them put Justin on a bed, covering his face with a sheet through blurred sight. They carried him away there was a white piece of paper laying next to where he died. Walking over I picked it up. It was a note that said " Dear Lina." on the front. 

I put the piece of paper in my pocket sitting in the back of my mom's car. My mom started driving away from the scene- the murder scene. We got home and i instantly ran to my room to cry even more. Getting up off my bed i ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Touching my hair, i remembered Justin buying scissors, cutting my hair off. It grew back a few inches. My hair was now down to the end of my shoulders. I smiled, My hand roamed down to my neck, where I felt a hick's Justin left the night before we left. The flashback of us sitting there making out, It was hot.

I ran my fingers threw his hair as he sucked on my neck, He started biting, sucking. After that feeling he looked me in the eyes then said " Now when we leave each other, the other guys will fuck off because they now know you belong to someone." 

This thought made my eyes water, one tear fell from each eye. My fingers went back up to my lips, where he kissed my there every second he could kiss me. Our first kiss was what got me, under the waterfall, where he told me he loved me. Running my shaky hands too my stomach, i can still feel him kissing down my stomach, every inch, he stopped to the bottom of my stomach looking back up to me to make sure he was alright. As i nod yes to him.

My hands found each other, and all i could imagine was how we would hold each others hands when we were scared, then when i held his hand when he died in my touch. Running back to my bed i started crying even more, he was gone, he was really, really gone. It hit me really hard that I'll never get to do any of what i was just thinking of to him anymore. He wanted to be with me, and i want to be with him. Forever. I took the piece of paper out of my pocket and opened it.

Dear, Lina, my baby.

I'm not sure how i'm going to put this but before i continue, i love you. I know i say I love you every single fucking second, But that's because I mean it. You're literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now, this is going to break your heart, and I'm sorry. But i was thinking on how much easier life would be for you if i committed suicide. You gasped i know, i know your reactions to things like this.

But i don't want you to be living life, with the guy you love in jail, not moving on from him. I would hate that and wouldn't be able to live with myself feeling like i'm taking you from the world. What i would do is tell you a story, I've been thinking of this whole journey together, It'll be called " Suffering." and i would want you to tell your kids, your husband, your .. well everyone. Because it's a love story. Everyone Loves a good Love story, especially if it's based on a true story.

I would tell you the story, then let you get up to the police. Once you're there i would pretend i forgot to give you this note. So i would slowly put my hand in and out of my pocket, so it seems like I have a weapon. They'll shot me, kill me. I'd die in your arms, I'd tell you I love you forever. And when i say forever, i mean forever. 

I don't want this note to end, I know you'll always look back at this and remember us. But i have to end it sometime. You're probably pissed at me. I did it for us, Promise me Lina, Promise me that you WILL get married, you WILL have kids, you WILL die as an old lady, you WILL stop cutting. I believe in you Lina, I'm crying writing this. I'm dead, but i didn't die not being in love like I thought i would.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you, I know you're suffering baby, but i love you.

From, Justin.

****** Hey guys, this is the last chapter of Suffering :( I know it's not what you wanted it to be, but there will be another chapter of how Lina suffered through these rough time. This chapter will be coming out Next Wednesday. IF !!! THIS CHAPTER GETS 200 READS, 10 VOTES, AND 5 FEEDBACKS OR MORE. AND THIS WHOLE FANFIC GETS 40K+ READS. I know it's allot to get but share it on your facebook, tumblr, twitter at least 5 times a day til next Wednesday, Using the hashtag #SufferingFanfic with the link to this fanfic. Thank you guys, the game is on :) Sorry if i got you in tears, i was in tears whole writing this and it took me like 10 minutes to get ahold of myself so i can start writing again. tell me how you liked it :)) ******