Who Am I?

Chapter Eleven:

Jessica left and now I'm even more miserable because nobody is here to help me. I have never been this sad or depressed in my life. This is actually so hard for me. It's not even like its the middle of the summer when there are so many other boys at camp that could help me get over him. Freaking Valentines day is next week! This is so not fair. I feel miserable. I wish he waited another month. I really felt like I was starting to fall in love with him and now it's all slipping between my fingers. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Ugh.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow and have to see him. I think I should fake being sick. Fever? No, that's too hard. Bad cough? That could work. Throwing up? That could totally work.

I walk to the bathroom and open the cabinet above the sink. I remember my biology teacher from last year telling me that if you drink a lot of cough syrup, then you will throw up a ton. So I grab the bottle and start chugging it. After finishing one bottle, I grab another one and finish it. Everything is tingly. I feel faint and dizzy. I sit down on the bathroom floor, holding my sides. I feel a wave of nausea wash over me. All of a sudden I'm throwing up into the toilet. Gagging, coughing, trying to make as much noise so that my mom sees me throwing up and doesn't make me go to school tomorrow.

I hear her running up the stairs.

"Allie! Are you okay!?" my mom asks, pulling my hair back and tying it with a pony tail.

"Yeah, I just don't feel too great. I don't know if I can go to school tomorrow."

"Whatever you want sweetie. I'll cancel all my appointments for tomorrow. Why don't you go lay down, and I'll bring you some water."

"Okay. Thanks mom."

"Go rest." my mom says, placing a kiss on my forehead.

Should I just tell her? Nah, I'll tell her tomorrow. I actually feel fine now that I threw up five times for about 20 minutes straight. Resting my head against my soft fluffy pillow, I drift into a deep deep sleep.

***********************DREAM****************************

"Bionca, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course Jake. Anything else you want from me?" Biona says, winking at Jake.

"Come here." he says, taking her hand and pulling her in for a kiss.  

************************************************************

I wake up from this terrible nightmare shaking and sweeting. I roll over and look at my alarm clock. 4:30.Ugh. I suddenly feel a huge headache coming on. This is the worst. I roll back over and try to fall back asleep. This is going to be a long rest of the week.

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I ended up staying home today. The entire day I sat in my bed watching romance movies that made me miss Jake even more. We had so many good memories together. There was one time when I was sitting at a piano, and he came up from behind me and started playing something on the piano. I asked him to teach me how to play, and he stood behind me and leaned against my back and placed his hand on top of mine. He showed me how to play and I turned to smile at him, and our eyes locked. He looked at my lips and I looked at his, and he crashed his lips into mine. It probably lasted only a few seconds but it was heavenly. I felt so special and loved. And now. Now it's all gone.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I just want to curl up in a ball and become invisible and I want Jake back.

I glance down at my phone to see if Jessica texted me.

Jake: hey, can I talk to you for a minute?

Allie: Why? What do you wanna talk about?