Beside You- Harry Styles/Ashton Irwin Fanfiction

Chapter Thirty Six

Maddies POV

I woke up, panting, sweat lining my face, i just had a nightmare, i dreamt that he came back, he caught me again, i got out of bed walking over the bathroom and splashing cold water on to my face to calm and cool my self  down, i was shaking i picked up my phone off the nightstand to see the time was 2:38am i must have slept for ages, i tried laying back in bed a sleeping again but i couldnt i just kept tossing and turning.

I got out of bed considering wether to put socks on or not but the carpet in my room felt so soft on my toes so i decided against i walked out of my room and into the lounge to see a sleeping Rachel on the sofa, i forget i just left her in here with the boys im such a shit person. I walk through the lounge and into the large kitchen and grab a coke the liquid easing my scratchy throat, i open the cuboard and a bag of skittle fall out, i sat down at the table and opened the bag of skittles and i ate the red ones knowing i would annoy Harry because they are also his favourites. 

I walked back through the front room decided on which bedroom to go to mine or Harry's i know if i go to mine then i wont get any sleep but i dont wanna wake harry, with the tour starting soon and everything. Fuck it ill go and cuddle with harry he wont mind, i opened his door trying not to wake a sleeping rachel and a sleeping harry. i tiptoed across his room feeling for his bed. 

"Maddie?" I heard his raspy voice say.  

"its me, i came to cuddle, i couldnt sleep" i admit climbing into his bed and pulling the duvet over me. Harry shuffled closer wrapping his arms around me sending my body into fits of butterfies, i snuggled into his chest his scent invading my nostrils.

"i like it when you wear that sweater" He mumbled into my hair causing me to smile.

"ill wear it more often then" i said placing a small kiss on his bare chest, this was perfect laying like this, his arms wrapped around me and i could hear his heartbeat in my ear and his smell incasing my body i felt safe like i could stay like this forever.

"what are you think about?" Harry asked, tracing soothing cirlcles into my arm.

"you, well us, how perfect this is." i mumbled.

"it is perfect, i could stay like this forever." he added.

"exactly what i was thinking" i said kissing his chest again.

"it gives me butterflies when you do that." he giggled.

"do this?" i said while placing lots of little kissing over his chest and tummy.

"yes." he giggled hysterically. "stop it." he splutted. i stopped leaning up and placing a kiss on his nose.

"you should be asleep harry you need all the sleep you can get with the tour coming up." i mumbled laying back down trying to get comfatable.

"okay mum, ill go to sleep." he pouted. i glared up at him rolling my eyes. " talking about my mum i want you to meet her."

"i'd love to but what if she doesnt like me?' i questioned.

"she will love you as much as i love you babe. now lets get some sleep we can discuss this in the morning baby." he said kissing my head.

i was drifting off to sleep when i heard harrys soft snores, i looked up at him and whispered into his ear "i love you." actually meaning it for the first time.

~the morning~ 

i woke to the sun shining though harrys curtians, god damn that boy not closing the curtians properley, i wanted to back to my room to get my phone but harrys arms were wrapped tightly around me, i grabbed harrys phone look at the time it was  11:01am, i nudged harry making him waking up.

"let me go get my phone babe" i whispered into his ear.

"kiss me first" his replied in his sexy raspy morning voice.

"no ive got morning breath." i said covering my mouth.

"well then your not going then" he pouted his eyes still shut. he went to stretch so i took the oppuintuty to escape his grasp but he grabbed hold of my arm causing me to yell out in pain, he had grabbed me right where the cuts were. He sprung up out of bed cradling me in his arms.

"im so sorry maddie, i grabbed you to hard, let me see if i left a mark." he rambled while trying to pull my sleeve up, i couldnt let him see the cuts.

"no harry stop." i said keeping a tight grasp on the sweater sleeve.

"maddie.." he said sternly. i went to kiss him to stop him trying to pull my sleeve up but that made it easier for him to pull the sleeve up. it was too late he had seen the cuts.

"m-m-addie" he stuttered. "when did you do these?" he asked serioulsly.

"last night" i said tears spilling  out of my eyes. He let go of me walking into the bathroom and bringing back a razor blade.

"if you want to cut yourself, then take my arm, look me in the eye and cut me as many times as you would cut yourself." Harry said sternly holding the razor blade.

"i cant hurt you like that harry" i whispered. 

And thats when i understood everything.

oh my gosh guys, ive missed writing this fanfic im going to trying update more. read my other fan fic aswell that would be great and follow me on twitter(i changed it again) its now @gigglyshelley also vote and comment it encourage me to write quicker!