Loving Ashlynn (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 55 - Frosty Predicament, Bozeman Christmas (Kalenah Conrad POV) Pt. 14

Chapter 55 – Frosty Predicament, Bozeman Christmas (Kalenah Conrad POV) Pt. 14

"You cannot control every little detail in life Kalenah."

"Your actual life will pass you by if that is what you plan to do. One day you will wake up and wonder where the time went? How did you miss it all?"

"I am not telling you that you cannot mourn or think about a failed goal, mistake or bad decision but do not let it consume you."

As the oldest daughter my parents had, I always took things to heart and while that made me aware, it was also my downfall. I could bury myself in guilt, feeling such regret for decisions that I'd be afraid of the next step.

It was paralyzing to me especially with I failed. That fear of failing the first time would stop me from even so much as trying again.

Fast-forward now – or a few months back – and it were as though I was watching a younger version of myself in Samson. He was never truly a reckless type of child, but after Silas' death the differences in his behavior was staggering. He would double check locks, the cars, his steps... everything.

Samson had been repeatedly and almost systematically – and thorough – hunting for danger.

Ansel and I did as well; I'm not saying we did not. But long after we started loosening the reins on the kids, overriding that instinctual fear that every time they left the house it could be the last time we saw them, Samson's suspicion only grew.

A part of me understood to an extent what was causing my son trouble; a plane that was supposed to be secured was tampered with. How could I fault him for believing that if something he thought was safe was not? It wasn't just that either. It was as though he took one step further, his car shouldn't be something someone could tamper with either but he transferred his alarm onto things much closer to home.

I had to wonder if maybe somehow Samson knew of the danger that Taylor could inflict. Not that she was the one he should be leery of, but that there was a reason to be leery in the first place? An unconscious feeling possibly, one he couldn't come out and explain without sounding completely paranoid.

After our conversation with Taylor; a part of me is relieved and utterly floored. Samson was literally one car check away from being someone Taylor turned on and murdered like her family members and Silas. Not to mention Faith. She was most likely Taylor's next victim while we were living in Bend.

The last piece of the puzzle in my eyes was whether or not Javier and Devin had the same mindset and behaviors as Taylor, only better at hiding their true selves.

"Are you going to inform Javier and Devin? Of what Taylor has done?" Ansel's sister Angela asks softly after we get back on the road. Ansel who went up to check on Trevor, Danny, Lia and Leslie and I had already decided that we would tell Javier and Devin when they arrived in North Carolina with my father.

Well that was our first decision but with what we had to deal with, already spreading ourselves thin, we had called Antone – my father – back and informed him of Taylor's latest actions.

"We're letting dad handle it."

Nodding, Angela sighs.

Sitting, nothing needing to be done at the moment, my mind wanders far in just seconds Angela pulling me back.

"Taylor was just so cold and – and how could she do that? She's only seventeen," she whispers. "I – I mean from the minute I caught her snooping around Faith's computer, the way the lie just rolled off her tongue was jarring. But Kalenah," she shakes her head, "taking a life, at five and then now? Her own family?" Angela croaks.