Chapter 29 - Excuses in November (Brennan Conrad POV)Pt.2

16.6K 1.9K 135
                                    

I'm entering Loving Ashlynn in the Watty2016 so please vote, comment and share this story if you'd like to see it win. So Vote on every chapter, comment if you've enjoyed it even if that's all you're saying. I do love hearing from you guys and I'm always reading them :)

To vote all you do is vote on this story, so if you're already doing that, then you're on point.



Chapter 29 – Excuses in November (Brennan Conrad POV)Pt.2

Then. "W-we should not be here today," I whisper swallowing thickly, the biggest knot in my throat as I stand facing over two thousand people.


Black is all I see.


It surrounds me everywhere I look.


Black pants, jackets, shiny black loafers and heels. Onyx dresses, casket, limo, hearse and gray.


Gray clouds. Rainy days did not stop Silas, I thought errantly.


A mournful endlessness that is near weeping as though it knows the loss that we had gathered to grieve.


Be strong, I think silently but my sadness has nothing to do with being strength. Maybe strength of character, but being physically strong had literally nothing to do with today.


I look down at everyone and we're missing someone. Samson and a part of me wonders if maybe he was the lucky one right now. Drugged and sleeping at home while the rest of us said goodbye to Silas.


"But we're here because we all love this one person that should be here with us," I continue my written speech, though I'm only looking out at the audience blindly – I don't see the faces.


Just black.


"I-I feel like this is all just some horrible misunderstanding and knowing Silas, he'd jump out at this last minute and laugh-h," my vision blurs further.


Nothing is grounding me now, and feel as though I'm in too many places at once. As my mother and father are near me, I hear mom release the tiniest of sobs and my heart doubles in this staccato rhythm.


My heart has thrummed, beating so fast that it sounds like a continuous hum, like this before. The only difference is the pain that accompanies it now.


"But – but Silas was a jokester, he was not a cruel person. I remem-remember that and that is the reminder that he is no longer with me, with all of us."


"I do not know how to go on from here, I keep thinking about Silas and what he would've wanted right now. The person I knew he was in my head, he'd be-be furious at all the tears," I cannot look at anyone in that moment and I blink away moisture. Inhaling, my body shudders, "I think – think he'd want to-"

Loving Ashlynn (#Wattys2016)Where stories live. Discover now