Fall: A Chris Brown Story #Wattys2015

Chapter 13: Ain't It Funny

She let me walk away. She let me. Why did she let me? I guess she doesn't love me then. Right, if you love a person you'd do whatever you could to make sure that they know it & you wouldn't let them just walk away so easily? Exactly, she doesn't. I know that now but it doesn't change how I feel about her. I feel betrayed as fuck by her right now. I let her in when I wouldn't let anyone else in, not even my own mama & she doesn't even care. She doesn't love me.='(

"Mr. Brown would you like me to refill your drink?", the waitress asked me. She has a cute face with a ridiculous ass. I smiled, "Only if you join me for one", I responded. She smiled & sat down on my lap before refilling my glass then pouring herself one. I know you're probably thinking, "Nigga, aren't you supposed to be all in love with Alexandria & heartbroken?" Well yeah but shit, she hurt me so i'm a hurt her ass too.

"What's your name cutie?", I asked. She wrapped an arm around my neck putting her breasts all in my face, desperate much but I need her desperate ass. "Candi", she responded shifting on my lap. I nodded, "Cute, you should come out with me & my people tonight", I said giving her the once over. She leaned in & whispered in my ear, "I'd love to & I promise to make sure that you remember me", she whispered.

I faked a smile before politely pushing her up off my lap, "I'll see you tonight", I said & walked away. I know Alexandria is working tonight & I feel that I deserve a little reparation from all this shit. I love her, I really do but I shouldn't be the only one hurt in this shit. A relationship is 50/50 so i'm hurt & so is her ass going to be. Payback's a bitch!

[that night; @ the club]

Candi had a tight ass dress that was dangerously close to showing her ass to everybody with some high ass heels on. She's all over me & the shit is so irritating but i'm just playing along. I kept ordering drinks since I knew Alexandria would be working V.I.P., she always does. She wouldn't look at me but I could tell she was hurt or at least feeling some type of way. Ty kept giving me looks but I just ignored them. I guess he had enough of my shit because he pulled me aside.

"What the fuck are you doing?", Ty asked pulling me aside. I shrugged, "Tryna have fun. I thought you'd be proud bro", I responded. He rolled his eyes, "Nigga, this shit's not right", he said. I rolled my eyes annoyed, "What's not right?", I asked playing dumb. He glared at me, "You really wanna do this shit with me?", he asked.

I sighed, "Nope. Besides, i'm just trying to have fun. You do know i'm hurting, right? That i'm heartbroken? I just don't want to be fucking depressed about the shit", I said with an edge to my voice getting pissed off. He shook his head, "Bruh, that's bullshit & you know it. You just tryna hurt her more than she already is", he said & I instantly screwed my face. He screwed his face, "What you thought, you was the only one? No, nigga. She stills love your stupidass. Did you know she was crying her ass off & you already know she don't have one like Chyna that she could afford to, all because you broke up with her. Have you not noticed that she hasn't even joked around, cracked a smile, or anything with any of us? She's hurting nigga & the shit is your fault. Now stop being a lil' bitch about the shit & man up. If you still love her then fucking get yo' woman back", he snapped before walking away.

I didn't say anything or move at all, I couldn't. I didn't know none of that shit. I don't want to hurt her no more. She doesn't deserve this shit. Fuck, where the fuck was this nigga when I was plotting this shit? He could've talked me out of it before I did anymore damage to her but I can't put nothing on him.

He didn't break up with her, I did. He didn't flaunt some hoe in her face, I did. He didn't break her heart nor mine, I did. I did all of this shit. Although it takes 2 to make a relationship it only took 1 to fuck everything up, me but i'm a make it right. I'm a get my woman back, I love her. I don't want her to not be a part of my life.

Alexandria...

Wow, he really just did that. I know we're not on the best of terms but damn. Not only did he bring some hoe up to my job but he threw her all up in my face. Wasn't I already hurting enough? I thought I was but he proved me wrong, I wasn't. Nah, now i'm really hurting. The only reason I was seeing someone was to try to move on but mostly to try & fall out of love with Christopher. I had only went on 2 dates with this person & all it took was a few minutes in on the first date for me to realize that it was impossible. It's impossible for me to fall out of love with him. See, when I fell, I fell. No matter what he does I will always love him & I feel so stupid for it. I thought he didn't love me anymore then yesterday when he started telling me how he missed me, still loves, never stopped loving me, I was confused. It was what I wanted to hear him say but my heart & mind were conflicted. My heart said "I love you too" but my mind said "No. You hurt me but I forgive you, no us though". That's why I didn't say anything & he basically ran out on me. I had waited for him to come back but after waiting for 4 hours I left. I had to, I had to be at work. Trust me though, I didn't want to. I wanted to stay & wait for him & tell him how I felt about him, us. I love him & I always will, i'm in love with him. How can you claim to love someone one day but the next be with someone else? Does he really even love me? If so, why is he hurting me even worse than I already am? There's so much stuff on my mind right now that I don't know what to do.

"Alexandria?", someone said putting their hand on my shoulder.

«What's good? So I feel pretty ok & even if you don't, smile. If you can't smile, laugh. Don't let life get you down no matter what comes your way. In the words of Tupac Shakur, "Smile now, cry later". Never surrender to misery, never. I just felt a little uplifting so yeah. Anywho, vote/comment, thanks.»