To Want Something Better Is No Disgrace (On Hold)

To Want Something Better Is No Disgrace {17}

"Got caught in a dream world,

Where you are my dream girl,

Since you first came around and talked to me.

But my words got choked up, wish I would've spoke up,

But now you and me are only make believe."

- "Tongue Tied" by Stereo Skyline

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    "Calm down, Ariana. Everything's gonna be just fine. Trust me."

    I nodded as Kerri puts her hands on my shoulders.

    "All you have to do is just walk up to him, say you feel really really bad about the fight you two had and just leave."

    "Wait, but don't I have to wait for him to respond? If he forgives me or not?" I asked her with a questioning look.

    "Nope, just walk away." she replies.

    I gave her an unsure look and sighed, "Okay...I'll do it."

    "Good girl. You can do it, Ari." she says as I slowly and steadily made my way towards Derek, who was talking to his new jock friends.

    One of his friends spots me and smirks and whispers something to Derek.

    Derek turns to me and gives me a flat look.

    "Um, hi...Derek." I greeted, shyly.

    "Hey." he responds.

    "I want to talk to you for a second. Privately." I told him.

    He looks at his friends and they nodded. Then, they walk off, leaving just me and Derek alone.

    "So, you want to tell me something?" he asks.

    I nodded, "Yeah...it's about the fight we had. Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you or swear at you or anything bad that I did on that day. I just...I'm really sorry."

    He looks into my eyes and then looked away, avoiding eye contact with me.

    "You don't have to forgive me. I know it's my fault. I just wanted to talk to you about it and to apologise...um, I guess I'll see you later." I said and walked back towards Kerri, pretending to put something in her locker as she watched me.

    "So....?" she asked, curiously.

    I sighed, "I apologised to him. And walked away like you told me to do."

    "And he said?"

    "Nothing really. You told me to not wait for him to respond and to just walk away."

    "Right, I forgot about that." she said and smiled, "Great job."

    "Thanks. We better go to study hall. We don't want to be late."

    "Right, right!" she said, brightly and we headed to our study hall classroom.

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    Derek never responded to my apology throughout the school day.

    I guess my apology wasn't convincing enough.

    After riding the bus home from school, Kerri decided to come over. Mom, as always, happily welcomes her into the house and we hung out in the basement. With Carter.