EIGHTEEN (H.S)

16- Wattpad

Saying that our last day at Creamfields had been awkward was an understatement.

Harry and I were very close to have sex last night, on a metal hood car... And it felt terribly wrong. I'd never felt that guilty in my entire life. Being about to do the exact same thing that Harry did to me, to Kendall, made me feel truthfully bad.

It had broken me last year, when Harry cheated on me, publicly, and thinking that I was able to do this kind of betrayal to someone else made me feel ashamed of myself.

So, the next day, I just couldn't look at Kendall, keeping a low profile. No matter how our differences were deep, she didn't deserve any of this. The fact that Harry and I kept turning around each other since he came home, wasn't okay, at all. It was a lack of respect, moreover if she had doubts already, and suffered because of it.

I know, I stopped it before going further with Harry, but still. I was so excited, and I just wanted him, badly. What kind of person had I become? Losing every principle I had when it came to Harry... Was I that weak? Was I that weak to be the other girl? The kind of girl you cheated your girlfriend with?

My need for Harry was consuming. When he looked at me, intensely, or even brush past me, I shivered, and it ignited my body immediately. Thankfully, I had the conscious to cease everything before moving on to something more serious.

He felt the same urge, missing the closeness between us. What did it mean? Did it even mean anything to him? I was high, but he wasn't. It was more like a pattern, we kept doing this for years, having fun together. We had been weak. The chemistry between us was sometimes too strong, and we had to find a way to fight against it, otherwise, we would get hurt, and other people would get hurt as well.

What was disappointed me the most, was that he didn't change, and was about to repeat history. Did he not learn his lessons? Harry is an amazing guy, but he had to treat his girlfriend's heart, better.

Even if I took drugs, and was high, I had to take my responsibilities. It would be too easy to just put it on the drugs, saying I wasn't myself.

So, the next morning, I kept avoiding Harry, and he didn't even try to talk to me either. The guys definitely knew that something was off, because it was too obvious. One day you're friendly, the other you're cold as ice. Louis knew that I'd been with Harry for a while last night, but he didn't say a word.

In the end, we just spent the morning, dissembled the tents and all, cleaning everything, before going back home.

**

The ride home was incredibly quiet, we all were exhausted, and needed to rest and sleep, in our comfy beds. It was okay to stay in tents for a few days, but we definitely needed more comfort now, and proper rest.

Except the almost sex part with Harry, the festival was an amazing experience. It was worse the trip, and the lack of sleep. We had so much fun and we would remember it for the rest of our lives, for sure.

During the drive, I'd received a few texts from Ryan, which made me smile like an idiot. He's actually a great guy, and we agreed to see each other again. We kept texting since I got home, and was laying on my bed, exchanging stupid texts with him for a while, bantering with him.

At eight, I decided to get ready to go to bed, being way too tired to stay awake any longer. So I just did my night routine, and went to lay under the covers, enjoying the luxury comfort of my mattress.

When I put my phone on my nightstand, turning off the light, I couldn't help the smile and the butterflies growing in my stomach, thinking about Ryan. We couldn't wait too long to meet again, so we had planned to go out tomorrow, for diner, and I looked forward to seeing him, on other circumstances...