Chapter Fourteen

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Hey everyone! So sorry for the very long wait. I'm currently a student, so I don't have a lot of time to write. Plus I lost inspiration for this book a long time ago, but I'm going to try to finish it slowly. Thanks to much to my day ones and my new fans!

Not edited.

Chapter Fourteen.

Her eyes were so beautiful. They were the brightest grey—almost white. It was like there was nothing there but a reflective mirror. I almost didn't want to look away. And why should I? She was me in a sense. The me I had never knew existed; how did I never notice her before moving here?

But just as beautiful as she was, she was deadly. I could feel her anger and hurt roll off her. It was so powerful I almost couldn't stand in her presence.

Was this how I felt too? Probably.

This was the first time I had seen her. And just like my father, she was a wolf. Does this mean I'm a werewolf? None of it made sense to me. I couldn't help but stare. Should I speak? God why was this a lot harder than it needs to be.

"You're a wolf." I had so many questions. I didn't even know where to stay. Would it be weird to introduce myself?

"Esther, I have always been with you; just blocked from you. You must go back. Remember who you are."

She spoke. My eyes widen as I took her words in.

"Ok you speak. That makes sense; I'm in my own consciousness—of course you can speak." It's official. I've most my mind

"Wake up" Her voice faded as I heard Antonio's gruff voice.

I didn't want to wake up.

It was all an endless repeating cycle. Fainting from having my heart broken only to wake up to nothing. When was I going to stop being weak? I wasn't even strong enough to fight the feeling of waking up.

It was all useless.

Why was I still trying? Trying to have something I was clearly never supposed to have.

Just wake up and end it all.

I could feel my eye fluttered as I finally opened them to stare into Antonio's. Why is this man still here? Why am I, in said man's, arms? I groaned as I rolled over and out of his arms.

I felt different. I was still mad, and the aching pain in my heart was clearly still present. But as I looked at Antonio, I felt different. What was it? Why was I feeling this way—it was almost peaceful.

It was as if I had finally found my answer.

"What was that?" Leave it to my mate to bring me right back to reality.

I felt it all at once. Everything crushed. My so called "peaceful" feeling disappeared. I felt exactly how I had felt before passing out—overwhelmed. My head fell into my hands as I tried to shake away the feeling. I could feel the annoying pricks at the corners of my eyes as I tried to hold back more tears.

Can I ever stop crying?

"I think a better question is why are you still here?" my voice cracked. Even to my own ears my voiced sounded painful; it was almost too scratchy to bear. I raised my head to look at him once I got my emotions under control. He was still on the floor with me. Staring.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it was rude to stare? Or did you miss that lesson to? You know right next to the one about treating women with respect?" It was like I couldn't stop myself. My mouth was moving on its own, and it was not holding back on him.

"I don't know who you think you are talking to me that way." His voice was threatening as his eyes flickered between his and his wolfs. "You're in no position to question me."

Here we go again. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're right. Moving here was a mistake—" He paused as his eyes met mine.

"I can't love you Esther, but I also can't let you go." It was like my lungs forgot how to take in oxygen. What was he saying?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to do." He growled as he ran his hands through this hair gripping it.

He apologized.

"You know, I reached out to you with everything I had. And you tore it apart. You ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed my soul. I was nothing before I meant you, but I was more than what I am now. Yeah sure, I can't ignore how much I love you, but it's all fake. Like you said, we didn't choose each other. And maybe if it wasn't for this stupid bond, I wouldn't love you. But you didn't even give me a chance. Do you realize that you have no idea who I am? —" I refused to break eye contact as I paused.

"—You don't care who I am Antonio. The only thing that you have ever cared about is yourself. Because if you cared, you would notice how I'm withering away. How much it affected me to see you with—how much it hurts to look at you." I couldn't even say Cera's name. I didn't want to picture them together.

His eyes shifted as he turned his head away from me; breaking eye contact.

"And you're "sorry"? Well, fuck your sorry." The words came out strong. I felt each word as I was saying it.

He clenched his knuckles as he growled. I knew he was holding his wolf back. I also knew I shouldn't provoke him anymore. But I didn't give a fuck. I was pissed. And so, I said the one sentence that ticked him over his control.

"How can a monster even know what love is?"

It was a low blow.

I knew there would be consequences, but at that very second it felt good to watch him break for once.


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