Suicide.

The Funeral: Part 1

The Funeral: Part 1

*Nick*

"Are you ready, Nick?!"

I ran the brush through my long hair. "Almost!" I took one look at myself in the mirror and sighed. I couldn't believe this was happening. I never, in all my life, thought I'd be going to my own little sister's funeral. I always pictured her going to mine.

But no. I was going to her funeral. This was ridiculous. She was a little girl, barely sixteen. My sister.

'I'm not ready for this.'

And yet, what could I do? Jump out of the window? Hide in my pile of beer cans? What kind of brother would that make me?

I peeked over at the note, the last words of Danielle Miller. I swallowed back tears and picked it up, folded it, and placed it gently in my pocket.

I squared my shoulders and walked out of my room to, for the first time in what seemed to be millions of years, have an actual conversation with my mother.

***

*Mom*

I straightened the skirt of my knee-length black dress for the hundredth time. "What kind of mother am I?!" was the only words that I could think. The sick cycle played through my head like annoying carousel music until Nick hurried up to me.

"Hello...Mom," he said unexpectedly, stretching out the word "Mom" like he hadn't used it in awhile. I put my hand on his shoulder as tears swam in my eyes.

"M-My boy..." I licked my lips and felt a tear roll down my cheek. "My beautiful boy. You-You-You're all I have left..."

With that, I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. "Oh, Mom," Nick whispered, before he began crying too. Together we sobbed all over each other for at least five minutes, not saying a word. But this was all I needed, to know we forgave and understood one another.

"Ok, now you're freaking me out a little," I heard my son say, and I managed a laugh before replying, "I'm s-sorry, I thought this was...a moment..."

Nick chuckled a little bit and let me go. "I know, it was." But then his voice got serious. "And...Mom, I know you probably think this is all your fault and I'm not saying it is, or isn't. But you mentioned other names?"

"Yes!" I said, picking up the guest book and showing him. "And one of them's a...Sean Anderson. Remember him?"

Nick's voice reached a deadly low, one I'd never, ever heard him use before. "Ah, yes. I...remember."

***

*Sean*

Warm water showered onto my skin from the shower head. I tried not to think about Danielle just for this moment. For some reason I always calmed down in the shower.

But not today. As I squirted conditioner in my sandy colored hair, I could only think about what events had taken place in the last few days. My love had killed herself. I broke up with Ashley. Lucy went crazy.

All because of me.

'What am I going to tell her Mom? Her brother?' I thought worriedly. Oh God. This was the worst week of my life. Everything had gone to shit because I broke Danielle. If I'd just told her what she meant to me, she'd still be alive.

I rinsed off, turned off the water, and stepped out. I wrapped a white towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom.

"Sean!!" Dad's voice called me. I gulped and walked into the living room. He held out a black suit and said, "Put this on. We leave in two hours."