Suicide.

Aftermath: Part 2

Part 2: Sean

I went to school the next day, sighing as I went to my locker in first period. I hoped I could see Danielle today, because I seriously needed to apologize for what I'd said.

So yes. I'm a bastard. And a player. Been told to my face about a million times. And I wish I could reverse all these years and all these mistakes. Because honesty, ever since Lucy had told me that Danielle actually had feelings for me, I realized what I had done.

Yeah, so, when I was thirteen, I bumped into her. Danielle. The prettiest damn freckle-faced girl around. I can't ever admit to "falling in love", because I didn't. I just never had feelings for her, and I only thought of her as a friend.

About half the summer later, though, her brother, probably really high, betrayed her secret. "Now, ya know that she's, like, has a total crush on you, right?"

"Huh?" I'd said in confusion.

"My sis, Danielle. She loooves you." Nick grinned.

"Oh...er...thats, uh, real nice."

I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't feel about her like that. There were little flickers if doubt in my head at that moment. But, being the little mo-fo I was (even when I was a kid; sad, right?) I decided how hilarious of a prank it would be to taunt her with it.

So, all through the summer, I would make suggestions that we "do stuff alone", or "hang out sometime together". Things like that. And I met Paris. She was even prettier than Danielle, and totally into me. "Get rid of her. Find a way to destroy her so that we can be together..."

I would so not have done that now, but the bitch was all eyes, and...well, lets just say she was more developed than the other to-be eighth graders.

Add "perv" to the list.


And after that, I got into the deep stuff. I started planning on how to really hurt her. All because of some girl.

I only planned to kiss her one time and make it feel...special. It was probably her first kiss, so I tried to make it "right". Then, I decided that once school officially started back, I'd ignore her and be with Paris.

But things only started to go south then. I was sitting in the gym. I'd already told everyone that Paris and I were together, had been all summer, blah blah. And then, Danielle comes in, practically yelling my name for the whole fuckin' world to hear. Paris gave me a look and whispered, "Ignore her, or she'll ruin us!"

I tried, but with her in my ear like that it was so hard. So finally, I formulated a new plan and asked, "Who are you?"

I never planned to ruin her life. And I know I'll regret it 'till the day I die. And now it was time to make it right. Today I'd go up to her, whispering apologies into her ear and I'd hold her, listen to her tell me how much she loved me.

Because the day that Ashley had me fake a "love confession" had changed my life. I actually meant what I had said. And when I saw the pain in Danielle's eyes as my girlfriend told her it was a joke, I wanted to give her a great big hug. Because, that day, I realized that after all these years, I was truly in love with her.

I didn't expect her to take me in, no; I expected that I'd have to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. I wanted Danielle now and she needed to know.

So, upon placing my backpack in my locker, I almost didn't notice the note placed onto the locker's floor. Rolling my eye and expecting a note from Ashley, I unfolded it and read:


Dear Sean,

You are, like, the greatest guy ever. And yes, it's true, that I am madly in love with you. I have been, ever since you kissed me in that store on that summer day. And I know that you will never, ever feel the same. I hope you feel great, great regret for all the pain you caused me. Half my life I've been known as "Danielle the Stalker", and it's your fault! Why did you have to meet me? Or kiss me? Or ignore me? You should have just let me be, because then, this probably wouldn't happen. I'd happily be in a relationship with some guy who actually gave a shit about me if only you'd left me alone!


I gulped upon reading this. Obviously it wasn't from Ashley, it was from Danielle; and where was she going with this?!


Anyways, I need to tell you something else, so that maybe you can really get the big idea on why I have done what I've done. First off, I was abuses growing up; My dad killed himself, but everyone knew that about me. Of course Dad was the "abuser", so, it hurt whenever people said he took his own life because of me; Some guy raped me that same year, the year that we kissed. It wasn't that summer, in fact it was deeper into the school year. About November. Another thing is that my own mother never talks to me, my brother smokes and drinks, and on top of that I've got you, smirking at me with your slut Ashley. You and your girlfriend are solely responsible for the bullies that have hurt me, and sent me home crying ever single day. I hope that you know you were the one who started it by ripping my heart out. I hope you regret everything you have done, forever and ever. And I hope that you know, after all you've done to me, I still love you.
From, Danielle.


I re-read it one last time before putting it neatly in my binder. What was that letter supposed to be about? Just a confession of her life's problems? It made me sick to realize all I'd put her though, and everything that happened at home. I blinked and shakily went to class as the bell rang.

I sat in my usual seat beside Lucy, who looked almost as shaken up as me. "Are you...are you all right, Lucy?" She didn't answer. She just let her eyes trace the wooden patterns on her desk.

"All right class, before we begin I would like to announce something," Mrs. Eric started, and my head perked up. Only then did I notice the tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?!" someone asked from the class. The teacher just sniffled and picked up a tissue, dabbing at her eyes. I swallowed.

"There has been...a terrible thing," she said, voice trembling. "You all know Danielle Miller, yes?" The whole class groaned in response.

Mrs. Eric only sobbed a bit more. "Yes, well, she's...t-taken her life."

Silence.

My stomach dropped to my knees and Lucy's head snapped up. I managed the word, "What?" as everyone else gaped at the teacher as though she'd just told the entire class that it was raining knives outside. I clapped my hand over my mouth as tears streamed down my face. Oh, God. She was dead.

'The girl I love is dead.'

"No..." Lucy started whispering, before screeching, "NO!"

Then she got up and ran from the room.

And that was the last thing I remembered before taking out the note, holding it up in the air, and passing out onto the floor.