Suicide.

Flashback 9

Flashback 9

1 year ago...

I got out of the car with Nick at our high school, not bothering to wave goodbye to Mom. I hated her. She was a horrible mother and person.

Dollar clenched in hand, I went to the cafeteria where all the early ninth and tenth graders sat, and got in line for breakfast. It was a pretty long line, though.

When I'd finally gotten my food, I started walking towards the tenth grade section if the cafeteria. I swear that it's a crime to squeeze us all here together. I dove for an empty seat, sighing. I ripped open my plastic fork and spoon.

"Oh my God, look guys! It's the stalker!"

I froze, recognizing the hateful, nasal voice. It was Ashley McMan, the school's biggest freakaziod and Sean's recent girlfriend. She had already bullied me in fifth grade, saying my dad killed himself because he hated me, and in middle school it only got worse. But now, as the famous Sean Anderson's girlfriend, she'd risen to power, and spread rumors.

Now all her dumb friends an half the jerks at the table were laughing, as if I was stark naked on television at a national baseball game. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anger as I stabbed my micorwave-egg and viciously ate it.

As soon as I could leave, I was outta there, slinging my bag over my shoulder and running to the library. I bumped into some guys, only stopping to murmur "Sorry". Before they even had the chance to see my face, I was gone.

---

I sat at the library, studying for a test. It was only when I dropped my pencil and leaned down to get it that I heard the whispers.

As soon as I looked up, though, everything was silent. I scanned the room accusingly, searching for guilty faces. Finally my eyes rested on one girl, who was giggling. I looked her up and down, then tried to make eye contact when someone yelled:

"Eww!! Danielle the Stalker is checking out Rae!"

Shrieks of laughter and disgust echoed through the room, and as Mrs. Edwards, the librarian, attempted to calm everyone down, Rae stormed over to me.

"You lesbian bitch, why you be so fucking creepy?! You so ug-lee, I wouldn't go out with you even if I was lesbian! Weirdo!" She flipped her black frizzy hair in my face and stomped out of the library, whispering to her friends about me and crap. I felt humiliation and regret flood through me like a title wave.

---

At lunch, I was endlessly tortured by screams of, "Oh my God, look! It's the lesbian rapist!" and "Don't try to have sex with me!" and "Eww stop stalking us!"

I felt hot tears roll in at the part about rape. I rushed to the bathroom and sat on the seat of the toilet, sobbing.

Finally, I heard chatter coming closer to where I was, so I lifted my feet off the floor and held it in. I didn't want them to recognize me.

When I thought they were gone, I burst into tears again, and then realized my mistake when I heard a concerned voice say, "Hello?"

"Go away!" I cried. "You're just going to make fun of me!"

"No I'm not," the voice said, trying to reassure me. "My name's Lucy, what about you?"

I considered telling her. "No, you will just make fun of me." I blinked back tears.

"At least tell me what's wrong."

Sighing, I confessed, "Everyone keeps spreading rumors that I stalk a guy, named Sean. Even though Sean and I were friends over the summer - we even kissed! But then he pretended not to know me...and now people think I stalk him. But I don't, and...I..." Swallowing, I forced the words out. "I think I'm in love."

"And now, some girl named Rae is telling everyone that I'm a lesbian, just because of some retarded misunderstanding."

Silence from out there. I came out, wiping my eyes. "Yeah, I'm 'Danielle the Stalker'. Nice to meet you." I looked up to meet "Lucy", and froze.

Oh God.

It was one of Ashley's best friends! She had long blonde hair, greyish, hateful blue eyes, and tan skin. She wore black square shaped glasses. "There you are, bitch. First you stalk Sean, then you try to hook up with Rae, and now your trying to steal Sean?!"

I gulped.

"Freak!!" As that one word was screamed through the bathroom, I was running out, crying even harder.